cantar

alert: blog migration happening NOW.

2011-08-04T23:51:00.002-06:00

So I decided to make a new blog that incorporates the familial lifestyle I have adopted. This blog will heretofore be discontinued. So, dear ones, please point your readers and blog reels to the following new site:

http://grahamypants.blogspot.com/

Thanks Trisha for the nickname. It stuck. :)

new words

2011-08-03T00:19:00.001-06:00

Friends, this is a video made of a song I saw Brian Stokes Mitchell perform at the MoTab Christmas Concert the year before last. It is sweet and I love it. Do enjoy.

I may be the worst blogger ever, but here is a video

2011-07-03T10:09:00.006-06:00

My sister requested updates... I made this video days ago but haven't been able to get a sweet song to play in the background. Melissa suggested this one, but I will let you select one for yourself. :)

I like how Melissa posts updates about her son, so I'm going to copy and tell you about some of Boston's new tricks. For all the uninterested/time-crunched, please proceed downward to the video. Promise I'm not offended. Heh.

Boston at 5 months:

Physical:

Rolls from his belly to the left and to the right
Eats his right foot big toe
Plays with toys while on his belly
Raking grasp (I call it the grasp of death--beware getting your hair in his hands!)
Follows objects that I am trying to put out of his view, usually so that he will continue eating instead of looking at said objects. This is an unfortunate development.
Relatedly, while eating, B is very distracted by anyone/anything in the room, or sounds. Haha, there is a very funny story about how B started to SOB in the mothers room when a girl in our ward was singing a solo for her brother's farewell. I will not be sharing this info with their family.
Is all about touching and feeling everything with his hands or feet--books, walls, things with buttons or textures he can scratch, and especially trees, bushes, and grass.
Everything goes into his mouth. He has started eating some solid foods: applesauce, avocado, oatmeal baby cereal, strawberries, pineapple, and once for kicks we let him suck on a pickle but he did NOT enjoy it. The pickle face was priceless, however.
Sits up while resting on his hands
Weighs 16 lbs and is 25 inches long

Intellectual:

Jason is convinced he said "Hey Dad" twice the other day. I'm pretty sure this is wishful thinking, but he is pretty chatty! He loves to chat with the ceiling and people. He chatted with Gavin, a kid in my Sunday School class, all through the class on Sunday. Also he chewed on Gavin's tie the whole time.
Knows how to turn the pages of a book, though mostly he wants to put all books in his mouth.
Apparently he can say "ma-ma," but I haven't heard it; Jason said he cried and said it while I was gone one time.
He knows how to suck liquids out of my camelbak bite valve water bottle and also sippy cups
Likes to grab things and put them in his mouth--he is learning that noses and lips do not come off

Social:

This kid is a major flirt. He can locate the ladies in any room or plane and hams it up for them. One time I was at a store and noticed he was smiling at the ceiling over my shoulder; curious, I turned to see what he was smiling at. Wouldn't you know it was a poster of a smiling woman hanging from the ceiling. Watch out, ladies. We've got a major heartbreaker on our hands.
...But if you're a dude, he'll only smile at you if you (a) look something like Jason, or (b) have a gentle way with babies.
He's a socialite: he won't go to sleep in large crowds because he always wants to know what's going on and see what's happening.
He definitely knows who mom is and calms down most for me. Jason used to be able to put him to bed until we went to California and got sick... now he only wants mom when he's tired.
He has a super catchy laugh. He loves to chat and laugh with people, and he's extra ticklish around his ribs, on his thunder thighs, on his little feet, and below his chin.
Boston gets more and more fun every single day. He loves to play and explore and laugh and just be the stinking adorable ball of baby that he is.

Emotional:

He's gotten more insistent about eating NOW when he is hungry
Gets upset when toys are removed from his grasp (sometimes) ... mostly just the water bottle though.
Still a pretty calm, observant child. He loves to people watch and to look at the wind blowing through the leaves.
Lately he has been exploring different sounds he can make: spitting, p and b sounds, and sometimes he whines as if he's upset, but then you look at his face and he is fine--just trying new sounds.
Nobody can get him more cheerful and giggly than his dad. He loooooves his papa.

Now feel free to enjoy the video, with imaginary music in the background! :)

Boston laughs!

2011-04-22T18:44:00.002-06:00

B started laughing today and I got it on video! I was pulling boogers out of his nose so he could breathe and when I got one out, I said, "Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck," and he thought it was the most hilarious thing. So I took video! Enjoy. Baby laughter is the best sound on the planet, even if it is in its initial stages.

finally, baby B's arrival story!

2011-04-12T15:00:00.000-06:00

So, I was reading a friend's blog today about how she has time to get all these projects done while her new baby sleeps. I don't know if I'm super ineffective at utilizing B's down time or what, but it seems like my project list just keeps getting longer! Or maybe it is because I am greedy and I like to have B sleep on my chest for naps, so that prevents me from accomplishing as much as I might. Ah well. I cherish these snuggle moments. While he sleeps, let me tell you the story of his birth...

Boston was due on February 7. Sunday Jan 30 I spent the night chatting online with my parents and sisters. We joked about how he would come sometime that week and I'd call them on the way to the hospital. I was already dilated to a 3 and about 80% effaced, and my doctor had told me on Friday she wouldn't be surprised to see me sometime that weekend... but I guess I just figured I was still a few days away. About 1am on Monday morning the 31st, I woke with some cramping. This had happened before, so I figured it was just more of the same. Then I kept waking up every half hour or so, going to the bathroom and feeling the cramping. At about 3:30am I woke Jason up with yet another trip to the loo, and some moaning on my part due to the intensity of the cramping. It was getting stronger, I just knew it. He tried to find something he could do for me, being the sweet man he is, warming up a heating pad, getting me water, etc. The only place I was comfortable was on the toilet. Sometime in the next half hour I lost the mucous plug. I wondered what that meant. Then I was bleeding all kinds of bright red blood. This had me worried, as I hadn't read anything about that, so about 4:30 in the morning Jason called the hospital to see what that could be. The doctor called us back a while later and when I told her how I was feeling (crouched in child's pose on the floor of the hallway), she said, "Oh, you're probably just in labor." Oh. Right.

So we timed the contractions since they were now coming in more frequent waves and I figured that meant they WERE contractions. They were getting super strong and I kept calling out for Jason to come stand by me and pet my head or whatever he was doing that was comforting, and he reminded me to relax and breathe. The contractions were anywhere from 2 to 4 minutes apart, so we figured we'd better finish packing our bags and get going. I had a list on my phone from some website of all the stuff we should pack, so Jason was rushing around putting things in various bags, as I just hung out on the toilet in his bathroom and occasionally yelled out, "Jaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" and he would rush in and remind me to breath and to try to relax. I tensed up quite a bit still, despite all my HypnoBirthing training... just the fear of the unknown I think.

Finally we got all packed up with way too much stuff (4 bags? yes.) and headed to the hospital. It was freezing cold with snow on the ground and this aided in my tensing up... I had my iPod playing in my ear with the relaxation track, trying to go to another place mentally. That helped actually. Though I had started shivering a while ago and it worsened in the cold car. Jason was white knuckled, driving as sensibly and as quickly as he could the 15 minute journey to LDS Hospital. He didn't speed but did have to run one really long red light after he stopped at it and there was neither traffic nor any indication that it would be changing anytime soon.

We got to the hospital and I stood up out of the car and realized I was all wet! Water broke. Luckily I was wearing black pajama pants and my black Ragnar hoodie... so you could totally see my wet butt as I walked in. Classy. I kept locking up as I walked in because of the contractions and the cold. Jason just led me slowly, carrying the millions of bags and not entirely sure what to do here. We found a bathroom on the main floor since I felt the need to go again. I failed to mention that when I got into the car, I felt like I had sat on something, and I had already started to feel the need to bear down when I was at home. I didn't tell this to Jason as I knew it would freak him out. So I just held on.

When we checked in at the front desk, I had already pre-registered, but they still have paperwork for you to do, for some reason. The nurse people found out I was a first-time mom, so I think they figured I had a long labor ahead, as is usual for first-timers. I was pacing up and down the hallway and did as much as I could before I had to go into my mental place again and left Jason to finish up whatever. All I remember is looking at the pictures of babies on the wall and lots of pacing and leaning over the front desk and moaning when they wanted me to sign something. I think we got to the hospital around 6:45am.

They got me into a nice room and I checked it out, changed, and got ready for whatever was next. It had a jacuzzi tub and we asked for a birthing ball. They did some checking of stuff and found that I was dilated to a NINE already so, "Uh, we'll call the doctor." Yeah. I was ready. I told the slightly disinterested-seeming nurse that I was feeling the need to bear down and she said to go ahead, they'd handle it. Hmm, nope, I'll wait for the doctor, methinks. Dr. Servoss arrived finally and they said to just go ahead and push whenever I was ready.

Here I am in the hospital room

Trying to relax and "breathe the baby down"

There was no time for an epidural, but I didn't plan on one anyway, so that was fine. They told me I wouldn't be needing that birthing ball. :) I felt the need to just sortof chant/sing this one low note over and over, sortof an "Auhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound. I'd get louder as the contraction intensified. Finally when they told me to go ahead and bear down, I was scared to do it. But I knew the end part felt like you had to go #2, and I had felt that way for a while now and had been holding off, so I figured I might as well try. I let out a great yell like you do when you're doing some intense weight lifting, and push push pushed, still trying to breathe well and such. Ouch! It hurt but still felt the need to keep going.... kept this up for a few minutes and I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten since the night before and I was a little dehydrated and had thrown up the milk I drank around 4am... luckily Jason kept the Propel electrolyte drink comin. Yum. I had done about 4 of these yelling pushes when I just felt spent. It was so intense and I felt like I didn't have it in me to finish. The doctor was just shifting her weight back and forth, waiting for me to keep going. They could see the baby's head; Jason told me he had dark hair. He was real! He was coming out! But still, the sheer exhaustion... I looked at Jason and I told him I didn't think I could do it. He looked me in the eyes, right into my soul like only Jason can do, with those kind, wonderful eyes, and he told me, "You can do this. I know you can do this. Your body knows what to do." That was all I needed. His confidence, his assurance, and his expressed belief in my ability and in my body's ability to do it. So I said to myself, 'The only way to it is through it,' and I focused on the image of my baby coming out and them handing him to me, and I gritted my teeth and bore down with all I had. There was yelling, and about two or three pushes and some intense burning, like the fire of eternity, and suddenly he was out, and they were checking him and placing him on my chest, and Jason was cutting the cord, and he was there, and he looked like a Korean baby, why is he Korean? And oh my goodness, he is so beautiful and let me hold him, and he looked right at me and had this look like he wasn't so sure about this bright cold room but he'd be ok if I held him on my chest, and there he was, and did he really just come out of my body? and Jason is there at my side and we did it and OH, he is fine, and beautiful, and perfect, and the pain was 100% gone and forgotten. Jason said to me, "Joy as exceeding as was my pain, eh?" And I responded, "Oh, the joy far exceeds the pain. FAR exceeds it." It was like the pain never even existed. It was the most beautiful moment of my entire life up until that point. It was heaven and earth all in one place, and time stopped, like when Jason and I kissed for the first time. And everything else was blurry and it was me and Jason and our little baby boy, and it was perfect.

Boston David Graham, born at 7:58am

I ripped a little, just minor ripping, so they sewed me up and I guess I delivered the placenta at some point but I was so caught up in looking at our baby. Jason took some video and we just stared at him. They let me keep him on my chest for 20 min as requested for bonding and resting and such before they performed any tests. They checked him out and weighed him. 6 lbs 15.8 ounces, so they rounded up to 7 lbs, and 19.5 inches long. One week "early" and absolutely perfect. They put that eye goop on him eventually, dumb, so he couldn't see us for a while but then we could again. I tried to feed him which of course was completely foreign and awkward but that's to be expected, I figured. They got me cleaned up a bit and eventually got me out of the bed and wheeled me with baby in arms and Jason at my side to a maternity ward room where I'd spend the next almost 48 hours. They played a special lullaby over the PA to welcome the baby. Very cute.

Wise eyes for such a little one. A few hours old.

I spent the next while trying to learn to care for a little one, trying not to bleed all over everything (too graphic?) and crying all the time because my heart was bursting full of happiness. I had a few very special and spiritual moments with Boston and with Jason that I won't share here because of their sacred nature. Suffice it to say, the veil was thin, and the universe seemed, to me, to center on what was happening in that small hospital room. It was divine.

I spent two days in the hospital, which was super nice for my first and which we had to do to claim all the benefits from our supplemental insurance. The nurses were fabulous at helping me learn to breastfeed, staying on top of my pain and stool softener meds, and making sure I remembered to eat and sleep. Jason was plain exhausted but wonderful. He seemed to grow into the role of father so naturally, and I was obsessed with taking photos of him with baby.

I was super happy to have gone natural, as I could walk right away, use the bathroom (with some help for the first trip), and both baby and I were nice and alert. It was a deeply beautiful experience, and I loved it. I have said that I'd do that again 40 times and not mind it at all. If I weren't so nauseous during pregnancy, I might even think about having another kid. Haha. Hopefully that part doesn't repeat for the next time....

We spent the rest of the morning dealing with the shock of suddenly becoming parents, and calling everyone. We got a hold of Jason's folks soon after delivery and also my dad. It was so fun to share the news. So funny that we had told them we'd call on the way to the hospital, but there ended up not being time for it! We had arranged to have a friend come and take video for us but that went out the window as well in the rush of things. 4.5 hours of labor for baby #1... wow. Fast. My mom was at the gym when he was born, so when she came home, my dad had left her a note on the counter that read, "Boston David Graham, 7 lbs 19.5 inches." She freaked out of course and we had a nice fun chat soon after. She changed her flight so that she could come to our place on Thursday. We checked out Wednesday afternoon after two days of resting in the hospital, the trauma of taking B to get his heel pricked (the agony! oh my heart!) and Jason taking him for his first bath and for his circumcision, and I got to take a couple of showers and went to a breastfeeding class which was super helpful. We got into a rhythm of waking him every 3 hours to eat so that he'd remember to eat, gain weight nicely, and so my milk would come in nicely, and then we headed off to our house with this dumb look on our faces like new parents must all have, and with a bundled up baby to try and beat the freezing absolute coldness of February.

Mom came on Thursday and loved on our little man. She was a lifesaver in teaching us how to bathe him, helping me not to worry so much about every little thing, and she'd take him and burp him and put him back to sleep so I could sleep at night and sometimes during the day as well. I didn't realize how much labor takes out of you, and I was plain exhausted for a good couple of weeks. Luckily Boston seemed to have night and day figured out already, so he only had one wakeful period in the middle of the night while Mom was here and she got some good rest also! What a thoughtful, considerate little child.

with Grandma Karen after his bath

We now spend our days just staring at and adoring this little man. He has grown so much already--now at 10 weeks he hardly fits in the below outfit anymore. And I feel like my heart has grown by about 3 sizes... I have this enormous love for this precious little boy, and it occurs to me that Heavenly Father feels this way, and more so, about me and about everyone I will ever meet. Becoming a mom has also increased my love for and patience with everyone around me. They are all precious.

Some initial thoughts on his personality: Boston seems to be a patient, wise, and curious spirit. His body is strong and his mind is alert, and his heart is big. He is mellow and happy and full of life and the assurance of who he is. Already I feel I have much to learn from him.

My boys. Notice how he holds in his pacifier. So cute.

Boston at 9 days old

And finally, some photos from a weekend trip we took a couple of weeks ago. How we love this little man. He has filled our days with joy.

I am loving this. Motherhood is my favorite career. God be thanked for the gift of being mom to this precious, perfect little boy.

a sweet video update

2011-03-27T22:21:00.004-06:00

a little st. patty's video from baby b

2011-03-17T13:29:00.002-06:00

Stay tuned for the posting of his birth story... I have been meaning to do it for the past 6 weeks but when do you find time to do this stuff? I mostly just stare at this cute baby all day and try to sleep and shower and sing songs and read stories and sometimes make food and clean and now work out too... blogging has taken the back seat. Well, even more of a back seat than before. :) But I think I am getting the hang of typing while nursing, so maybe there is hope!

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all of you!

a Christmas photo spread with short captions

2011-01-11T21:43:00.010-07:00

Jason and I got sweet cameras for each other for Christmas--his video, mine DSLR style--and I would like to show you rather than tell you some things about how it was. So fun. Photos begin Christmas day, post-camera reception.

Jason used his sweet video camera to record some of his parents' sweetness.
We haven't interviewed mine yet--they're warming up to the idea. :)

I still love technology... we used Skype so my sisters could be semi-
present while my missionary brother called home from Nicaragua.
So awesome.

I think Jason is the most good-looking man of all time.
Doesn't he just exude pure goodness, awesomeness, strength, and braveness?

Here we are chatting with my brother. It was a virtual family reunion!

The two brothermen a-chattin'. I sure like these guys.

Steve has sweet piano skills.

I come by my weird face-making honestly. Directly from my momma.

So happy to see this kid at Christmas! My nephew. So dang adorable.
So happy to see his parents, too. I just didn't post photographic evidence.

Momma is a doting grandmomma, too. I love how my parents
absolutely adore their grandchildren.

Great-grandmomma adores them, too.

Here is my cute other grandma, my papa's mama. We had
so much fun with all the folks at her place.

J loves his parents a whole bunch. They are good people, I tell you what.

And I seem to fit in with them just fine.

My papa gave me a fathers blessing as I have been feeling pretty
nervous about giving birth and becoming a mother and such.
One of the sweetest moments of my life.
I treasure it and I treasure my papa. Oh how I love him.

The day we left, it snowed! Here is adorable Grandma
waving at me through the frosty window.

It has snowed and snowed and snowed since we've been back...
we took advantage and went for a little light snowshoeing. Ahhh, clean air.

J constructing me some good meditative tracks to get me
through the labor and delivery process. This man gots skills.

Blairsy sent me this for Christmas this year. I love it. It is a physical
representation of that childlike hope that Christmas is all about--
the believing in good and in good things to come. Thank you, Blair.

Here are the curtains I put up over the closets in the baby's room.
Mostly this is for my sisters who helped me pick them out. I like!

When I go out in public these days, people look briefly
at my face, then immediately their eyes drift to the belly.
I am basically a walking belly. Nice.

Here I am at 36 weeks--took this one this morning.
26 days to D-day! Yipes!

officially freaking out

2011-01-01T10:21:00.004-07:00

I counted the days until our due date this morning. 37 days. Oh my goodness. Am I ready for this? Is anyone ever ready? Probably not, but I think I'd better get to buying that crib and installing a car seat. Baby B's a-comin.

Do you make new years resolutions? I made a couple: 1. Go to bed at 10pm. 2. Read the New Testament through again. I have some other ideas floating around my brain but not solidified.

Christmas is so fun, no? I had the best time at home with my familia and J's familia. It is the best to be among those who know you so well and love you anyway. I feel pretty lucky to have a family that does, and to have pretty much the best in-laws of all time. J and I got sweet cameras for Christmas--me a DSLR and he an HD videocam--and we have been busily documenting our lives with live and still shots since. So. Much. Fun. So. Much. Disk space. I need a new external hard drive. :)

I have been reading The Peacegiver whilst on vacation and since returning (thanks Mom for letting me borrow your book). I highly recommend this one. One of the reasons I so enjoyed Christmas this year was because of what this book is teaching me about Christ and His continual ability to heal hearts. Give it a first or second read sometime. I am hoping to acquire this one to add to my bookshelf.

Happy New Year, lovies. I am lucky to know you folks. Here's hoping I get to see all of you in 2011.

xoxo

you asked for it

2010-12-13T11:47:00.004-07:00

I have been negligent about posting belly photos. Reasons: (1) it is a little hard to get used to the idea of myself as such a large person. (2) I am also somewhat of a private person, so I forget to post stuff like this unless reminded. I have been reminded, so here is a photo--taken yesterday evening, of me at 32 weeks. I am getting progressively there! 56 more days, my weekly email tells me. Yay! And also, aggghh!! It is getting closer which = more real, which = more scary. But we are also excited.

We had some family up for to see the Christmas lights and enjoy a little holiday cheer and delicious food. This was good times. Enjoy photos:

Happy Christmas, everyone! May the season fill you with light as much as The Light of the world has filled our souls with His birth. Yay and double yay for that.

xoxo

happy decemberween!

2010-12-08T17:18:00.003-07:00

Yay! I love December. Christmas and snow and seeing family and friends and drinking hot cider. So much goodness in this month. I love how friendly everyone is all the time and wishing me happy holidays. I may keep this tradition up all year round. If I'm asked what holiday, I'll just pick the closest one.

9 more weeks of pregnantness. Yay. I feel so big. Baby is measuring 3 lbs 14 oz and about 3 days ahead of his due date, according to ultrasound yesterdee. Also, he is cute. You'll have to take my word on that one since I don't want to put ultrasound photos on my blog. That seems weird. Here I am at 28 weeks, so this is 3 weeks ago. Baby is kicking tons, nausea has come back a bit (boo), and I am trying to mentally prepare for childbirth, which has me alternately excited and terrified.

Jason is ridiculoso busy with school and work. We don't see much of each other, and when he's around he's usually typing up a paper. Here he is on Thanksgiving weekend, with his new leather jacket which he wears around the house because it makes him feel awesome. He is. I will be glad when this guy gets a break and a chance to sleep.

It snowed a bunch one day and Jason was trying to suggest things we could do together while he was both home and awake one Sunday... I picked building snowmen. Here are our friends:

Bet you can guess which one is me. Clue: the pregnant one. And at our house, snowmen wear sombreros and their mouths are made of strawberry jam.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving with family and continued to get more snow... our little friends were buried.

As they have melted in the past few days, I look at them outside the window and think, "Uncle Owen! Aunt Beru!" Hahaha. I'm hilarious.

Are you getting excited for the holidays? I hope the season finds you well and with lots of ideas about how to make it meaningful and fun.

xoxo

bump, set...

2010-11-12T22:11:00.003-07:00

...ok, just bump. Here's a pic of J and I at Halloween this year. He's a construction worker. I am self explanatory. :) Also our awesome pumpkins. Recognize them? 20 points to whoever figures them both out.

Also my sister sent me a link to this excellent website about intuitive eating. I know many of us have weird relationships with food or fall prey to other folks' weird theories about eating, and I thought this website had some good, sound advice.

Lastly, I now wash my face nightly with olive oil. Yes, you read that right. WITH OLIVE OIL. Never have I enjoyed such even-toned, soft, and clear skin as I have since embarking on this new routine. It is awesome. I won't preach the gospel of oil washing here but let me know if you want more info. It is easy, cheap, and effective. All favorites.

Now adios! I'm going to bed! At 10:30 on a Friday! I'm old!

rocktober

2010-10-29T18:23:00.004-06:00

So, October has been rad. J and I went to California for an adventure with some of our favorite peeps. So glad we got to see those of you we got to see! And so glad to have some beach and sun time before we came back. To snow. Sigh, winter...

So happy to see all of these ladies. I love you girls.

...and my favorite little sister and her cool husband

p.s. their kid is adorable

J and I spent hours and hours together driving and we didn't even
get bored of each other. That is amazing. True love here, people.

...but then, how could you not love this man?

Back to life, back to reality... J has been working and going to school lots. I have been growing a baby lots. He is getting strong and good at kicking me right in the spinal cord, or so it seems. Still training some folks and doing a lot of domestic things like baking bread and cleaning and organizing... all the things I couldn't do while I was so nauseous, and probably won't have much time for come February. It is fun. I feel an odd sense of peace in my life, even though by every someone else's standards, I might appear a bit lazy (no job? what?)... but I am having a good time researching about babies and all the STUFF they need and how to properly care for one, and trying to keep things flowing at home so the J man can have clean clothes and food to eat, even if I don't get to see him very much. (p.s. This takes up a considerable amount of time. No wonder I never cooked or organized or cleaned properly while I worked full time! And props to you people who do work and/or raise children, and also do these things. I am in awe of you.)

Want to see the belly? It is a-growin. Course my california dessert adventure may not have helped much. :) J took one as well, as usual. Ha. For my 2nd belly photo I stuck that sucker out so you could get an idea of how I FEEL. Enormous. But that is good. Grow, little man! Only 15 more weeks to go!

oh, how LOVELY was the morning

2010-10-02T11:59:00.004-06:00

So enjoyed General Conference this morning. I feel to change and improve. Looking forward to some more learning, reproof, and revelation this weekend. I love October... or, as J calls it, ROCKtober. :)

I passed my personal training certification test yesterday, yay! (NASM) So now I will be seeking for some folks to punish, ahem, I mean, help to improve their movements. I'm so excited. I've been training a friend along with myself for the past two months and I love this methodology. Makes a lot of sense and my body, though it feels enormous, also feels strong. Yay.

Baby update: he is kicking around so much these days. He's quite active, it appears! I'm excited. I need a son that I can teach to play sports. J is in charge of teaching him how to be a rock star. I guess we'll both take on the effort to teach him who he is and what he's doing on this planet in the first place. Intimidating? Yeah. But we'll rely on the Spirit all of the times. I think it will be ok.

Off to Costco for me! I require almonds, in bulk!

some of my favorites lately

2010-09-08T19:34:00.005-06:00

So. First of all, I haven't died of nausea. That's a miracle and it's thanks to these:

No joke. Buy some at Walgreens or wherever if you experience nausea for any reason, and tell every person you know. They are amazing. Saved me from many an embarrassing public puking session.

That got me thinking about some of my favorite things...

For taking off mascara: Huggies Natural Care baby wipes. Keeps my lashes luscious. :)
For eating: ramen noodles. I ate 3 packages today. I'm disgusting. Hopefully baby likes sodium.
For smelling nice: I've been on a Marc Jacobs Daisy perfume kick for a while. I think maybe it's time for something new (and I'm running out). Any suggestions?
For a new hair experiment: I just bought hot rollers to create those oh-so-desirable waves in my hairs. I shall experiment directly. Hopefully it works and I look awesome.
For muscle tightness: foam rolling, or self-myofascial release. I'm kindof a junkie lately. My foam roller arrives Saturday. CAN'T WAIT. Here's where I got a roller for myself and for J.

That is all. Sorry for the long breaks between blogging; I thought I was crazy for thinking that the computer made me sick, but it turns out that the refresh rate of a computer screen can actually do that. So now I will return to my books. And my hot rollers. To end, belly photos! (J insisted on having one as well. Hahaha, how I love him.) What a strange sensation this pregnant thing is. It is, in a word, a miracle.

A Tale of Two Parasites

2010-08-10T06:56:00.002-06:00

(as told by Jason)

Once upon a time, Laura and Jason went to Honduras. They had a killer time.

One night, Jason and Laura ate at Chili's. From that moment on, Jason carried with him a parasite. Unbeknownst to most, Laura was also carrying a parasite. Both parasites wreaked their havoc. Jason did everything he could to fight his parasite. Laura, on the other hand, did everything she could do to feed her parasite.

When they got back from Honduras, Jason got a drug that killed his parasite. Laura, on the other hand, got more drugs to keep her parasite from killing her.

Our little parasite is now 14 weeks old, and we hope to carry it for another 26, until approximately February 7.

To be continued...

so, this one time, we went to honduras

2010-08-02T18:56:00.004-06:00

It has been a dream of mine to return to Hondolandia since I got back from my mission there (FIVE years ago! Gah!). I promised the folks that I'd be back, and they told me that all the missionaries always said that, but I told them that I meant it.

I totally did. We went from Weds July 21 to Weds July 28 and it was amazing. Surreal, miraculous, fantastic, funny, and so good. I posted all the photos on facebook so they are all visible there. I'll post some of my faves here. These are people that have continued in the gospel, and it shows on their faces. They've been to the temple with plans to return, and they have the peace that comes from living as a disciple of Christ. I love them and I seek to be more like these beloved, humble, generous, devoted people. They may have little in the way of material possessions and comforts, yet they are happy. I miss them.

p.s. Jason was a champ, and somehow managed to be funny despite his limited Spanish. And he navigated us around the country like a pro. And didn't even crash despite the CRAZY drivers there. And came back with serious intestinal woes. We're hoping he gets into a doctor tomorrow. Oh, Honduras....

i knew i was getting old.

2010-06-29T16:28:00.004-06:00

... but when the girl I tutor didn't understand my Chris Farley tribute when studying El Nino, I knew I was seriously getting up there.

Here are some pics from my fab 28th birthday:

Jason took me on a surprise hot air balloon adventure!
Jason + hot air balloon = dreams come true

I just kinda wanted to stay home on my birthday this year (another sign of aging).
Jason made us some delicious salmon for dinner. YUM.

Then we made a delicioso strawberry shortcake cake, courtesy of the Pioneer Woman.
(Warning: this recipe is RIDICULOSO sweet. Even for my sugar-lovin' teeth.)

When The Pioneer Woman says to use a pan that is at least 2" deep, she means it.
We had a little extra donut of cake that fell off. But Jason ate it. YUM.

Happy Birthday to me!

28 for reals?

Thank you Leah Claire for the lovely necklace...
and all friends and family for your gifts and cards and calls.
You made my day extra-special happy.

July is jam-packed with fun: visits from family, family reunion, and a trip to Honduras. Oh, I can't wait. Not to mention (!) a nephew will be joining us sometime mid-month. How mucho exciting! I am way excited as I have been particularly lonely for family lately. Adjusting to life in Utah has been a bit tough on me as it seems that most folks who live in Utah also have immediate family who also lives here. I have some aunts and uncles here, but nobody close by that I could just pop in on. I find that the best friends I make here are folks who also don't have any family around... and in my new ward, so far that is nobody. Not to complain! I am feeling like we are fitting in well in our ward, and we are where we are supposed to be. I am just saying that sometimes I get pretty lonely around these parts. Maybe I should get a dog.

In other news, neither the USA nor Honduras made it in the World Cup, super big bummer. And this weekend is going to be a blast with a little mini-reunion of some folks I taught with at the MTC, and my sister and her husband coming to visit with their kids. I have the pool noodles and popsicles ready! Let's have a party!

i am from washington. i drive a subaru.

2010-06-21T19:32:00.003-06:00

Well, technically, I only drive it when Jason has my car, but my old roommate Blair insisted that everyone she had ever met from Washington State either drove or wanted to drive a Subaru. She is right. Of course she is right! Subarus rule. Why wouldn't you want one? You can drive up any mountain anywhere and through snow and mud and to a lake and carry a canoe with it and also a bunch of other gear in back and also their lights turn on automatically when the car does. Case closed.

Here are some pics of my trip to WA in April for the Vancouver, BC temple dedication and general good times with fambly.

Papa and I in front of the temple. I have a cool dad.

My brothermen and I. I sure love these guys a lot.

My brother Steve took this more artistic-y photo. He's good at photos. And science.

EL TEMPLO DE DIOS. It is beautiful.

This is my parents' back yard.
(Finally I don't write "my" back yard anymore. I am all growed up, I guess.)

One of my favorite things about home is watching my brothers and dad
fight each other with pool noodles stuck onto bamboo poles.
Ah, the good times. Also whilst home I invented a version of
pool noodle clay pigeon shooting, which involved hurling a
bambooed pool noodle at a frisbee while it was airborne. I love home.

At deliiiiiiiiicious Chinese food with (L-R) Uncle Sandy, Aunt Bonnie,
my brother-in-law Ian, and my sweet mum (Jason's mama).

What a great trip. The dedication was moving, the cultural celebration was fabulous (good job Mom!) and it was so wonderful to see my family and Jason's family and to meet Bonnie and Sandy for the first time. I sure hit the jackpot in the family department, I tell you what.

Time for FHE! Today it involves guitars and spreadsheets, so Jason and I will both be pleased. :)

xoxo

in which i post some photos

2010-06-10T19:31:00.006-06:00

I may be officially the worst blogger ever. I got this sweet new computer but I haven't been putting photos on it... finally decided TODAY I SHALL CHANGE MY WAYS. So I loaded a bunch of sweet photos on the ol' lappy, some of which I will tickle your fancies with now, and stay tuned for many future photo-laden posts. (I can almost feel your anticipation.)

Let us start at the very ending, shall we? Today I didn't have tutoring, so I was to spend the day studying. Instead, I decided to tackle the evil stack o' papers in the Spare Oom. These papers are my nemesis. I consider myself a fairly clean person, and usually attack clutter in the main rooms on an "un dia si, un dia no" (every other day) basis. However, Spare Oom is a land less navigated by both visitors and me, so the evil stack kept growing. Plus I think filing papers is my #1 Most Hated Task. (What's yours?) But I subscribe to this organizational email which encouraged me to tackle paper daily, and though I am no Leah Claire, I figured it was time to attack the demon.

THE DEMON:

A closer look: this is seriously several months of papers I need to file

So I was fairly motivated. I think I lasted all the way through Losing it with Jillian and partway through another show before my four year old brain got distracted by the sunshine outside and I decided it was time to soak in my daily vitamin D and repaint my toenails. (Do not you love this color? It is Sally Hansen Salon Nail Lacquer in "Orange You Cute?") I tried my fingernails as well, but, as usual, my impatience resulted in severe smudging. Gah. Curse my metal body! (5 points to whoever identifies the source of that quote.)

So here I am buried in the below jumble of papers. I have to go through about 2 years' worth of old papers and pull out what is now irrelevant, replace with new irrelevant papers, and shred like a million trees. Ugggghhh. Why can't everything be paperless? FILING IS MY ENEMY.

[Aside: Whilst I was constructing this post, I was summoned to an HOA meeting at our complex, during which I was voted secretary. That's what I get for answering the door. Heh.]

And now, signing off, your newly-committed-to-blogging-with-interesting-photos friend,

Laura

hoooooooooooola

2010-05-17T13:33:00.003-06:00

So a bunch of time has passed since last I posted. Of note:

I went to Washington to see my family and Jason's family and also for the Vancouver, B.C. temple dedication. It was so fun. The temple is beautiful, the family is wonderful. Also my little bro got his mission call (on the day I got there! prayers are answered. ha.) to Nicaragua! Excited for him. Missions are super rad. The gospel is super rad. Sharing it is super WAY rad.
Read this. It is wisdom, and very short.
I turned 28! I am getting up there in years. Weird.
For my cumpleanos, Jason took me on a surprise trip in a hot air balloon--one of the most prominent items on my bucket list. It was glorious. How I love that man. It's like he figures his only purpose in life is to make my dreams come true. (He does.) Photos can be seen on the facebook place, if interested.
I got a new computer! It came in the mail today. (I'm only slightly embarrassed to say that the 8:30am knock on the door from the FedEx man woke me up.) May more blog posting ensue. I will still keep my other beloved laptop--this one is for quick surfing and Skyping. Yay.
Still tutoring, and it is super great. I love it. Also still studing for the NASM personal training cert.... better hop to that. Ack! Is it seriously almost 2pm? Ok I'm signing off.

XOXOXOXOX
Laura

well, hello 29.

2010-04-14T09:43:00.004-06:00

Jason turned 29 yesterday. Happy Birthday to him! We just had a low key night at home. Jason passed a little time with book 7 of Harry Potter, then we ate Mum's spaghetti and had cake and watched Up (interspersed with lovely phone calls from family, which he loved), and went to bed about 10pm. We are old people.

Making THE cake. Notice the dishes all done in the background.
Jason did them. I tried to make him not do them, but he is all nice and stuff.

Lovely cream cheese layer.

So strong. And brave. And 29.

Jason is cute. I mean, handsome.

Awwww.

I forgot the candles, but luckily Jason still likes me. Phew.

Blowing out his makeshift match candle.

Happy Birthday, J! So glad you were born. Seriously. So glad.

In other news, I start a new job tomorrow! Yay! I am tutoring a girl for half a day each morning. Due to some circumstances in her life, she needs a tutor to catch her up before she begins her senior year of high school next year. I am really excited. I met with her and her family a couple of weeks ago and it just felt right. Now I know why I couldn't go through with all the other job applications I started and would never complete! This is it. It all makes sense in retrospect.

And, since I got a job thing again, I have also purchased my study materials to become a personal trainer. So in about four months or less, I will be prepared--and certifiably able--to kick your behinds into shape! (And mine.) I decided to go with NASM as it is the most recognized around these parts. Then I can go on and pursue additional certifications where I see the need. Sweet!

Wish me luck!

guess who's pregnant?

2010-04-06T10:14:00.018-06:00

Not me! But my sister is, and we threw her a baby shower on March 27. IT WAS SO FUN. And exhausting. And fun! I was nervous because I can think of maybe 3 baby showers I have been to in my lifetime, but I think it went well. Here are some photographs:

Foods!

More foods!

Gram and Leslie. Grandma saved the day by helping in the kitchen. Leslie is cute.

So did these two lovely ladies! My cousins. Aren't they pretty?

My seester Kristen drove all the way from Colorado to be there as a surprise to Melissa--here Kristen's oldest appears with the food she was so eager to help get ready, though I think she ate only Skittles. Hehe.

Here is Grandma at the gift/note table. We had folks sign some Dr. Suess books for Melissa to take with her to California.

Lovely Connie, whose house we invaded. She is really just wonderful. Here with Aunt Val, who drove since 2am to come down. She is crazy cool.

Mom was able to be there also, thanks to Skype and Jason who lent me his laptop for the day, even though he had homework. What a dude. And what a mom! You rule, momma.

Kristen put together this fun Family Feud game. She did a great job!

What is a Pugmire shot without weird faces? All 3 sisters.

Here are some of the shower attendees. For more photos, click here.

Kristen's kids were so eager to help with gifts. :) And Aunt Heather did an amazing job of organizing gift bags. Seriously. She has skillz. I think the gifting helped curb little Kimmie's disappointment in not being able to actually see Melissa's baby--she asked Melissa several times when her baby was "going to pop out," and responded dejectedly when told that the baby would come in the summer, "I thought we were going to be able to see the baby." Apparently she thought the baby would be born during the shower!

After the shower, we headed to Provo to play outside and to see Steve and enjoy some foods and ice cream at the creamery. So fun to have us together! Mom, Pops, and Brizo--we missed you.

Adios Meliss, and good luck in San Diego! Thanks for letting us party with you before you left! And boo for sisters moving away.

two things

2010-03-17T11:10:00.006-06:00

First of all, I pledged to lose 9 pounds to the pound for pound challenge.

Don't worry, I checked it with Melissa, my sister dietitian, first. It still keeps me well within my healthy weight range. Totally safe. I'm stoked because I just wanted to do something extra to help those who have less, and there are lots of folks needing extra help. Also it is a cool way to get myself to work out with the knowledge that people in need are counting on me.

Secondly, if I ever bear children, their nursery will look like this:

I'm sure I can make it gender neutral somehow. See more pics here.

take 20 minutes and watch this. it's worth it.

2010-03-13T16:30:00.002-07:00

Thanks to my friend Tim who pointed me to this video. I sure did love it.

Or you can watch on its origin website here.

it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got

2010-03-08T13:33:00.015-07:00

My friend Cheyenne turns on the radio when she is home alone so that she is motivated to do things (so hard to do when it's dead quiet). I lasted through about 40 minutes of NPR's ongoing (and quite circular, might I add) discussion of health care reform before I switched to the musica. I prefer guitars most mornings. Right now we've got Sheryl Crow's Soak up the Sun. Ah, the memories that old tunes bring back...

Here are some random thoughts for you.

Cheyenne and I dropped by The Square Nest and found the most adorable local cards. I liked the one above so much I framed it and put it on my desk.

I spent the weekend with my sister Melissa in P-town which was oh so fun. She rules. And her baby bump is cute. We ate, talked, watched a movie, cooked, packed up her stuff (boo for moving away) and generally just had a great time. I loved meeting up with her and Steve for some delicious Crunchy Cinnamon French Toast from Kneaders. YUM, and way good company. Photo spread:

In other news, some people (cough cough, Aunt Heather) don't really believe I'm doing this personal fitness trainer gig, but I really am. I begin classes April 19. I'm a wee bit nervous. I haven't done school for a while and I am hoping this will be an educational investment that will benefit my family in valuable ways, e.g. demonstrate the importance of taking care of the stewardship that is the body, help both Jason and I to keep fit, and be able to contribute to my community in a way that will promote greater health for the general populace. I am also hoping that someday if Jason and I ever produce offspring, it will be something I can do for a few hours a week to get some additional income and interact with adult-types. Then eventually when we buy a house, I can build an in-home gym and run a small business. My dream of getting a Masters is not forgot, but just on hold for a little while. This feels best for now.

So, off I go to look for a part-time job! Woot! And also get a nice 40 minute run in. SoCal Ragnar, here I come! And also join a food co-op. And maybe make the bed. Maybe.

Stay tuned for photos of the redone condo. I need some color ideas for when we paint the walls this spring, if you are willin'.

hahahahahahaha

2010-02-22T15:46:00.001-07:00

Jason just sent me a link to this photo. I laughed merrily.

Happy Valentimes

2010-02-16T10:51:00.004-07:00

I spent the holiday away for the long weekend--went to Colorado to visit my sister again and her family. It was so fun! My bro had not seen them since he got home from his mission, so we took a little road trip! It was good times. I have a lot of healthy respect for my brother, and it was so good to see K&J and play palisades with them and play the monster game with the kids. :) They are so fun!

When I got home late last night after braving the snow and ice of Wyoming roads, I had a lovely spray of flowers waiting for me on the coffee table, as well as a video queued up which Jason had made for me. He is adorable. He has put the video on his blog which you can view here if you are interested. I basically just sat there and cried. How did I end up with the best husband ever? I think it was pure luck, blessings, and a whole lot of you people talking me out of running from the best thing that has happened to me. Thanks, peeps, for helping me have the courage to take a chance on the Jason: he consistently exceeds my expectations. I am amazed and feel very, very blessed. I don't know how long he and I have to spend together in this little mortal existence, but I feel very lucky for every day.

p.s. If you can't get the video to work, keep trying. Apparently it works sometimes if you just keep at it.

p.p.s. The song is called "I Love You Anyway" by Jason's friend Jarrett Burns, a singer/songwriter whose album Jason is working on mixing and producing. Jarrett wrote this song and sang it with Debra Fotheringham. I love all of his work so I'll definitely let y'all know when the album is done. xoxo

week 3 of unemployment

2010-02-10T00:12:00.007-07:00

Well hello there folks. Here I am at 12:21am, blogging away whilst Jason finishes his paper. He has to finish it tonight because there is no time tomorrow, and tomorrow it is due. I am watching Waking Ned Divine. It's kindof a quirky movie. Ah, the Irish.

So it is the 3rd official week of my unemployment and it has been going well. I am enjoying seeing the sunshine in the mornings, reading for fun again, and organizing my household, as well a bit of online tv. I can't resist Biggest Loser and Extreme Home Makeover, what can I say? Today I watched about a house they gave to a teacher who has cancer. I cried. Americans are good. Sometimes a little too generous in my opinion, which paves the way for entitlement, but that's another topic for another day.

How's about some fotos? I don't have 'em of my little casa yet because I haven't put the books on the bookshelf and rehung the photos, and I'm embarrassed to put up fotos of empty bookshelves. Ha. Now that I've admitted that, I may as well post them. Soon, my pretties. Instead, here's one of my most recent hair cut and color. I love bangs. They keep me warm. And so does that sweet $10 fleece I'm wearing. I love Old Navy outlets. And wearing fleece so that I can turn the furnace down. Jason thinks I'm a stickler but I just tell him to put on a sweater. Haha, I'm such a penny pincher... sometimes.

Here's another foto... since I find myself jobless these days, I like to cook for the Jason. And for me! Here we are inventing a stir fry. It had way too much cayenne but just the right amount of blackberry jelly (thanks Mom) and pineapple and yummy vegetables. Ahhh, good food. I may or may not have gained 5 pounds since I have become unemployed. Of course that may or may not be pure muscle, since Jason and I have also been doing P90X. We are basically pure muscle now.

Please notice Harry Potter on the counter. Yes, I am reading again! My goal for 2010 was to read 10 books. I know, it's an embarrassingly small number. I am much more of a doer than a reader, which is why I used to subscribe to audiobooks back in the day--I can get my cleaning/workout/organizing/errands done while also educating myself. But this year it's pure reading, my friends, and the Old Testament is on the list, so I thought 10 was plenty ambitious.

Tomorrow to celebrate unemployment I am going to go find out some more about substitute teaching, since I have considered this teaching gig for years, and having lunch with an old college friend, and making dinner for an elderly lady in my new ward. It is sweet to have more time. Soon I will get another real job and perhaps have something respectable to answer when folks ask me how the job search is going, but for now, I'm cooking and cleaning and organizing and visiting and trying to help out where I can, and I feel like life is good.

xoxo
Laura

p.s. Sorry for the length. It is past midnight, which means I wax loquacious.

worst blogger ever, but... improving?

2010-02-05T10:45:00.019-07:00

So I got this anonymous comment on my blog that reads,

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

What the what? I think my desire to blog for a while was curtailed due to the anonymous critics. My blog is getting more creative and original now? I guess I am being more open now, and also Jason is in my life, which engenders creativity and originality, but still! What a weird comment.

In other news, I have been reprimanded by my sister for not posting photos of our very stellar January vacation to see her. She is right! I have not posted! I here repent.

Behold the cutest kids EVER and the good times we had in Colorado! Thanks K&J for letting us visit for the weekend!

I think I will blackmail the children with these photos someday.... and maybe Jason too. Doesn't he make the most adorable tropical reindeer princess? Hahaha, oh, how I love that man.

I don't cook.

2009-12-30T10:29:00.003-07:00

But maybe someday I will, and maybe you people who do cook will find this link useful--20 top recipes from my favorite magazine. Enjoy!

As for me, I'm condemned to my oatmeal diet due to my consumption of far too much tasty food this Christmas.... :)

Photos of our new digs

2009-12-06T10:45:00.016-07:00

Well hi! Welcome to our new condo! Would you like a tour? Please follow me....

Merry Christmas, Darlings. Come visit soon. The heat is turned on now. :)

xoxo
Laura

p.s. Yes, Spare Oom is still a raging disaster. It will be tackled soon.
p.p.s. Yes, the sound system was still the first thing to be fully functional. Jason is Jason.

just another friday night at home

2009-11-13T21:28:00.003-07:00

The holiday season is also the season where Jason works weekends, so I find myself with extra time to meditate. This is probably good. Random assortment of thoughts:

It was 8:30pm, and then, two minutes later, I looked at the clock again, and it was 9:30pm. What? Laundry still at my feet, not folded, workout clothes still on my bed, not worn. Sigh. The internet sucks my life away.
Tomorrow my flag football team has its first (and, if won, second) tournament playoff game(s)! Oh how excited I am! This past few weeks of playing has revealed to me not only my inherent competitiveness (thank you, Grandma R), but also the importance of finding something to do outside that is fun when the days become shorter. Also I have increased sympathy for the football players I used to yell at through the screen for dropping the ball. Sometimes you just screw up. You learn from it and life goes on.
Why is it that I can only seem to grow out my fingernails during football season?
My coworkers and I are doing the 100 pushup challenge. It is kindof hard. I am a wimp.
Sometimes, I don't like my job. Sometimes I really do like it. I guess this is normal.
A girl at a ward we went to last week told us how she reads the Book of Mormon daily and with it keeps a journal thing which she calls her "Book of Change." She reads and studies and then after/during, she writes at least one thing that day that she will change. After reading, she asks herself the question, "Because of what I have learned today, what can I change to better follow the Christ?" or something to that effect. I loved this idea. I shall begin.
I kidnapped Jason last weekend and we went up to Midway and Park City. It was so fun. We ate food, we cycled around, we shopped a bit, we talked a bunch, we kicked up leaves, we looked at tons of stars, we soaked in the hot tub, we slept in. Ahhh. It was perfect. I think this may be a yearly tradition just to give the poor Jasonius a break from his crazy schedule. He works hard at both work and school and both are requiring lots of his time lately... poor dude. Doesn't stop him from putting away the dishes and folding the laundry though (two of my most hated chores, hence the pile still at my feet), even when I gave him strict instructions to not do housework because he's not got the time. Too bad for me he's disobedient. :)
We move on Thanksgiving weekend to the condo! Hopefully. Appraisal expected Mondee or Tuesdee. Hopefully. Sigh, why is patience so hard? ha.
Someday, I want to be good at growing plants. I think I can learn.
I also want to be good at acquiring free appliances, like washers. The condo's washing machine conveniently broke 2 weeks before move in date. Ah well.
If you could meet one person from history, who would it be? I might choose Abigail Adams. I think she was a champion.
Which is better, buying a couch on craigslist or getting it on the cheaps at the RC willey outlet?
On our way home from the romantical kidnapping weekend, Jason and I had a big fight. Haha, what a way to end the romantic weekend eh? Driving down the canyon and we're not speaking to each other. Fabulous. It was about unmet expectations (which were uncommunicated, because they weren't realized...bound to happen. of course they were mine.) which led to frustration. Folks, don't discuss important questions over instant messaging and email. This is no good. Lesson learned, life goes on.
Apparently I have an issue with feeling like I'm not in control of things. Hahaha, yeah. I do.
As I get older, I find that I think more often before I speak. However, this is not always the case. My immediate reaction to something my coworker said the other day was, "That's dumb." Wow, I am awesome at positive reinforcement!
I'm real glad for the Atonement.
...And the time of year to remember it! Yay for Christmas! And pandora.com because I can listen to Bing and Ella and Perry Como all day and not pay a dime. I still love technology.
Sometimes people I care a lot about are going through really hard times, and I don't know about it. Today was one of those days where I found out about really hard times going on in the life of a friend. Life is hard sometimes. I think it's meant to be that way, but oh how much we need each other. I need you people.
Sometimes I have some hard times, and I don't really tell anybody about it. I'm glad for folks that point me to lasting sources of strength. Thanks, dudes.

End random assortment of thoughts. The Jason returneth. He has a surprise. I hope it's a puppy.

postscript: It's not a puppy. It's a cd with MP3s of General Conference. Just as good.

sisters weekend

2009-11-01T20:48:00.006-07:00

A photo tribute. This was in September and so fun. Thanks for coming, Kristen! Thanks for journeying up from Provo, Melissa! I loved it. We watched dancing, we ate some foods, we chatted away, we enjoyed flicks, we bonded. Can't wait for the 2011 repeat.

We walked to Temple Square.

We listened to the MoTabs. Kristen is cute!

In reverse birth order.

We celebrated Melissa's birfday! Her tongue is dangerously close to those raspberries...
Jason's violent tendencies rear their ugly heads. Again.

We are kindof adorable.

Melissa and Ammon get all esnuggly.
(sorry A, couldn't find the accent marks on the macbook. poo.)

And just for funsies, this is my new shower hat. I think it's attractive.

More photos to come now that I've located them finally on J's computer!

xoxo
Laura

p.s. I loved President Uchtdorf's words this eventide. Jason and I have a new tradition of commenting on what was amazing about our day. Amazing today was having my own personal prayers and loneliness answered and filled by the Spirit as an Apostle of the Lord spoke. What was amazing for you this weekend?

don't you want to be my friend this Christmas?

2009-10-18T20:32:00.001-06:00

Jason can usually get me a ticket or two or three to the Christmas concert put on by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square. This year's guests are going to be amazing.

Who's coming to visit?

rights and responsibility

2009-10-16T08:17:00.001-06:00

I discovered this quote today on a friend's blog. I thought it timely while also timeless.

"But this nation was not found solely on the principle of citizen's rights. Equally important, though too often not discussed is citizen's responsibility. For our privileges can be no greater than our obligations. The protection of our rights can endure no longer than the performance of our responsibilities. Each can be neglected only at the peril of the other."

Pres John F. Kennedy
Nashville, TN
May 18, 1963

Suicide Prevention Walk + I'm Famous!

2009-09-28T10:51:00.002-06:00

My friend Ashley Crist lost her brother to suicide a couple of years ago. She has grieved and then channeled her energies into the prevention efforts and to helping others let go of the guilt and pain associated with losing a loved one to suicide.

I was there for the 5k on Saturday at Wheeler Farm. It was a touching and emotional experience--healing for many, I hope.

Click here to see a clip from the news. You can see me walking around, ready for the run to begin.

Thanks Ash for a beautiful and soul-enlarging experience.

Ode to Jason

2009-09-13T17:38:00.010-06:00

Well, the Jason and I have been married for like thousands of hours now. Literally 14 whole months on Saturday. It has been the most soul-enlarging, self-searching, charity-inducing, fear-facing, joy-producing 14 months of my life. I seriously lucked out. How on earth I was blessed enough to find such an honorable, good, kind, smart, funny, un-boring, witty, diligent, forgiving, patient, thoughtful, inspiration-seeking, humble, highly attractive man, I shall never know, but I know Dios had a lot to do with it, and so did the scores of friends and family that talked me out of bailing on him out of fear. Thanks for that, peeps. I really am so thankful for that. He is the best thing that's happened to me yet, and I'm full of gratitude for the promises we've made to each other and to the Lord that will bind us eternally if we are faithful. Rad. Here's how we celebrated our anniv:

Lovely remembrance of promises

Fun hike up City Creek

Super tasty dinner at super fancy La Caille

He's pretty much a stud. And, like, mysterious and stuff.

Thanks J for (still) choosing me, and for taking me on the best adventure yet! I think you're pretty cool, all of the times.

september 11

2009-09-11T22:03:00.001-06:00

Just a link for you in memorandum of the folks who passed 8 years ago, and because I'm feeling a bit patriotic. The lyrics at the end of this song are the most poignant.

This is Jason's friend Michael Sackett, and I believe the song was written by Rob Gardner.

baleadas: a tribute

2009-09-08T12:47:00.005-06:00

Have you ever partaken of this amazing tastiness? If not, I am here to preach the good news of the baleada to you. This is the most delicious tasty thing. The typical street bite of Honduras, it is also one of Jason's and my favorite things to base our meal around. Just get some flour tortillas, some frijoles fritos (refried beans), and some crema, and you're set. I just read online that some folks add a hard salty cheese, grated, or egg, or avocado... I'll have to try that.

I've tried many options for the mantequilla (cream) to go on top, and the closest thing I can find can be found at an Albertsons or grocery store that caters to the Latino crowd. Looks like this:

... and tastes like heaven. I'm eating some right now. YUM.

feeling gloomy and tired?

2009-09-01T11:54:00.003-06:00

Have you noticed how in the winter, it's harder to wake up, it's harder to get moving, and sometimes even during the summer you feel that way? Turns out it could be a vitamin D deficiency. I have it from 2 doctors that most folks do not get enough vitamin D... and some do not absorb it well in the body. I started taking a vitamin D supplement (about 2000 IU per day) to make up for the lack of sunshine I am getting (cave dwelling IT consultant life takes its toll), and I feel a lot more energetic, I must say... and I must share my newfound excitement for vitamin D. Remember to get your vitamin D via natural means as well (fish, meat, cheese, midday sunshine, etc). This is sweet. Interesting article here.

Enjoy!

pushups!

2009-08-26T11:59:00.003-06:00

I did day 3 of week 1 last night! Woohoo!

I have also started this workout ... It is, as Jason would say, kicking the trash.

In other news, my parents and brother come this week to visit! Can't wait!

And now, back to creating websites so you Utahns can file and pay your taxes online. Sweet.

going dark

2009-08-21T15:39:00.003-06:00

I heard this phrase from a friend (well, a facebook friend) today. When her husband gets home from work today, they are "going dark" -- meaning no cell phones, no internet, no facebook -- for the entire weekend. I thought to myself, no big deal. And then I obsessively picked up my phone every 2 minutes to see if anyone had contacted me from the outside world, thus validating my existence. And then I thought to myself, The entire weekend without phone or internet? Could I survive it? Could I even display that kind of self-discipline? Could you?

I think I'm going to try it.

...But not today. :)

we are not morning people.

2009-08-20T11:06:00.000-06:00

J and I got up early this morning to accomplish some of our goals. And by early, I mean 5am. It was EARLY. Goals accomplished, Jason went back to bed and I went skipping off to work. And now he has arrived at work and I am ready for a nap! Maybe we'd be better at mornings if we went to bed before midnight...

In other news, I have restarted the hundred pushup challenge. Want to join me? I did day 1 yesterday. Hundredpushups.com ... It's a fun challenge. I'll keep you posted on my bulging biceps.

I also am storing up for a sweet anniversary post, but I need Jason's computer which houses all the photos... To be continued...

michael and the media

2009-06-29T15:04:00.002-06:00

updates

2009-05-18T10:54:00.001-06:00

I refer you to Jason's blog for some sad news and some other stuffs!

ABC's of me (tag from Meliss)

2009-04-23T17:23:00.002-06:00

A: Attached or Single: Attachéd

B: Best Friend: Jasonius

C: Cake or Pie: Cake if it's strawberry shortcake, or else apple crisp. YUM.

D: Day of Choice: Sunday

E: Essential Items: Food, shelter, and LOVE! (Brian Regan anyone?) Also water, phone, chapstick, toothbrush, slippers.

F: Favorite Color: Unknown at the moment. Probably green.

G: Gummy Bears or Worms: Worms. With that sour stuff on the top.

H: Home Town: Ferndale

I: Indulgences: Chocolate chip cookies, my Achilles heel

J: January or July: July, hands down.

K: Kids: I have some lovely nieces and nephews....

L: Life is incomplete without: The gospel, my Jason, family, good friends, fresh air and springtime, good books, enough time to sleep.

M: Marriage Date: July 19.

N: Number of Siblings: 2 sisters, 2 brothers, and a slew of cool in-laws

O: Oranges or Apples: apples if they're small and crispy; oranges if it's a clementine

P: Phobias: I'm afraid of the dark, afraid of not measuring up, and deep down afraid that despite my best efforts, I am, in reality, evil. (Retarded? Yes. Doesn't matter. It's fo' real.)

Q: Quote: "She gives most who gives with joy." Mother Teresa

R: Reasons to smile: Sunny days, good conversations, the light in the eyes of my ESL students when they master a new principle, peace from the gospel, the smell of flowers drifting toward me in the breeze, that look in Jason's eyes I think is only for me, eternal covenants with family, long runs outside, hugs from children, babies' laughter, that nice smell after a rainstorm, a few minutes to ponder and read, getting my code to work, and I smile because everything, eventually, seems to work out just fine.

S: Season: I'm with Meliss--spring or fall in Utah (or Boston--sigh), Summertime if we're in WA.

T: Tag: Um, anyone who reads this. TAG!

U: Unknown fact about me: I've always had a secret ambition to be an astronaut. And build a kayak. And play the harp.

V: Vegetarian or Meat Eater: Mmm, hopefully a healthy balance of both. I like fish.

W: Worst Habit: Picking at my split ends. It's awful.

X: X-rays: My chest a few times. I'm a bronchial mess when I want to be.

Y: Yummy favorite food: Strawberries. Yum yum yum.

Z: Zodiac sign: Taurus.

Wow, that was long, and kinda fun. Would love to read yours, too!

P.s. Things are going well, I just work all the time and look at houses for fun on the weekends. And run a lot. And we like to entertain guests. Come hang out with us!

the recession

2009-03-06T21:19:00.001-07:00

Looks like sometimes SNL is a little prescient, too.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/1389/saturday-night-live-dont-buy-stuff#s-p1-st-i0

I RAN SIX MILES YESTERDAY.

2009-02-22T20:22:00.004-07:00

Had to share with the world.

In other news, Jason is out of control sick with a chest cold. Gross. Poor little bunny. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE ) hehe.

In still other news, I'm trying to compile a list of "must reads" for my personal usage. Any excellent book recommendations out there.

Last news of all, I have to work mandatory 7am to 6pm hours this week. Sick. That's ok. Four months until Puerto Rico!!!

Loves.

goodness.

2009-02-15T22:23:00.001-07:00

That's all I can say to describe my life right now. Pure goodness. Well, almost pure. But pretty close.

Jason has posted all kinds of photos and news about our weekend, which was ridiculously fun.

http://jasonity.blogspot.com/

How I love my Jason.

Favorite moments of the weekend:

Being in the temple with my dude. I STILL choose you. Yes. Even after all these hours. And I always will.
Dancing the night away in our awesome garb (see link above) and having a blast with the kids and the folks in our ward. I wish I had a dollar for every time someone came up to me and said "I like your sleeves. They're real big."
Coming home to beautiful spring flowers on Friday afternoon. J got them for me early since Friday was a particularly bad day. I love spring. I love flowers. Thanks Jasonius.
Our exhilarating hike up to Doughnut Falls. It was our first snowshoeing adventure and we are sold. It was beautiful and so much fun!
Eating Cafe Rio instead of cooking up a fancy dinner as originally planned. Haha, oh how I love you, barbecue pork salad.
Fabulous texts and emails from beloved friends. In Latin America, Valentines Day is actually called the Day of Love and Friendship. I love that. I love y'all.
When we knelt to close our day with prayer last night, I asked Jason (as is tradition) if there was something in particular he would like me to pray for. "Toast," he replied immediately. I just about had an accident, I was laughing so hard. Of course I would pray for toast. He is crazy. And strong. And brave.
Just being with my best friend all the time and laughing and talking and enjoying life. How good the journey is with Jason at my side. Thank you, love, for a wonderful weekend.

Happy Day of Love and Friendship!

Love to you all.

Feel the need for speed

2009-01-27T23:15:00.002-07:00

So, I have done it. I have found another half marathon. July 11, 2009 and I have convinced at least 4 people to do it with me. Yeah! I had to do that so I would actually do it, too. Any of you nearish folks wanna join? I'm thinking of making arm bands with some sort of clever team name. Suggestions happily accepted.

Radio silence has been due to family/friends in town, moving, and general craziness of life, along with the added bliss of the blackberry which prevents me from ever needing to get on my home computer. I'm terrible.

I ran a mile today! Hey, gotta start low and work yourself up. It's been a few weeks and a rolled ankle since my last run, so I'm takin' it nice and easy. And now, I must go to bed so Jason will stop playing "bubble breaker" on his phone and get some sleep!

Loves.

trusting the corpus

2008-12-19T15:53:00.004-07:00

I have a philosophy lately that goes like this:

Give the body what it wants.

I heard a girl mention a few years ago that she could not stop craving dairy for a few days in a row. She decided that it was because her body needed it, so she was listening. I have been thinkin about that lately. I think my body is smarter than I like to give it credit for. I sometimes subscribe to the medieval paradigm that the body is evil and should be punished, deprived, and brought into submission.

However, I realize, in my more enlightened moments, that the body is a gift, and it is good, so the messages it sends to me are good and helpful too, as long as everything is working properly. If my throat is dry and my body tells me it's thirsty, I probably am. If my stomach hurts after I just ate a whole bunch of cookies, I probably can trust that my body is telling me that wasn't the best idea ever. If my lower back starts to hurt on a regular basis, my body is telling me that the abs are gettin a little flimsy. My body is smart, and it sends my brain messages that I can trust.

Learning to interpret these messages is sometimes like learning a foreign language. My body speaks differently than my mind does. It sends me messages through the senses. Sometimes I think it's hungry, but it's really just thirsty. Sometimes I think it wants ice cream, but it really wants a well-balanced dinner. Sometimes I think it wants to lie down, and it really wants to go for a run. Learning the language of my body takes good listening and practice.

So a few weeks ago when my body told me it wanted french fries all the time, I ate them. When it told me it wanted hamburgers three times in one week... I ate those too. Last night when it wanted to move around, I jumped and danced around my apartment with the cute little girl I was babysitting (she has moves!). And yesterday when I went in the break room to partake of Christmas goodies and my body told me I didn't really want any of them, I didn't eat any. I am feeling a nice new peace about the way my body and I are communicating. I just have to learn to pay attention to what it REALLY wants and not what I think it wants.

Which brings me to a quote Jason sent me today, which I share with you as my thought for the day.

"Not only will the righteous desires of our hearts be granted, but also the unrighteous desires of our hearts. Over the long run, our most deeply held desires will govern our choices, one by one and day by day, until our lives finally add up to what we have really wanted." (The Believing Heart [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1986], p. 26.)

I will spend the weekend and this Christmas season reflecting mucho on what I REALLY want.

well, hello!

2008-11-01T14:56:00.007-06:00

Holy cow. Has it been this long? I mean, really? A month and a half? How disappointing. I apologize. Wow.

We've been up to a lot: settling into our new place, I got a job (same market niche, different company) and started Sept 30 and have been working lots, Jason's been working crazy go nuts hours lately and we've been out of town almost every weekend. Needless to say, my internet availability at home has been minimal. BUT we have been having a good time! I hope to upload appropriate photographic representations of what we've been up to.

But first, as promised, wedding photos! In keeping with tradition, the ultimate repository of photos will be on my picasa site ( http://picasaweb.google.com/laura.pugmire ), in the album "Our Wedded Bliss", but also in keeping with tradition, here is a lovely sample.

To come: Las Vegas photos, Kalai photos, photos of our apartment, Sacramento photos (congrats Rebecca and Cameron) and probably some other randoms, including Jason's new love (besides me. Ahem.).

Love you all. And I lost your links because of redoing my background (decided white was best), so post me a comment, why don'tcha, and I'll add your link back to my beloved sidebar.

xoxo!

fotos!!!

2008-09-15T14:37:00.004-06:00

Finally, they are here!!! There is a ridiculous amount of photos on my picasa site: http://picasaweb.google.com/laura.pugmire . Just phase 1 since I still need to compile photos from the wedding day, but you can find an album of The Honeymoon and also our Trek West up there, which are quite fun. Here is a sampler:

honduras

2008-09-12T15:39:00.004-06:00

I just found out from my first companion on my mission that the temple in Honduras is having some setbacks... see her post here:

http://the-savage-family.blogspot.com/2008/09/honduras-needs-you.html

And if you could keep the temple in your prayers... temples and miracles are often connected, but require the exertion of our faith and prayers. A temple in Honduras means infinite blessings for the people of Honduras and Nicaragua and the surrounding areas... it means they don't have to save up for a year before they can make the trip to Guatemala to be sealed to their families.

Gracias, amigos.

anti-postal

2008-09-02T12:21:00.003-06:00

So. I know it's been a while. A LONG while. But I have happy news: I am back!!! We got internet this morning and it is glorious! So... soon to come:

Lovely photos of the wedding
Lovely photos of the honeymoon
Lovely photos of the cross-country drive
Lovely photos of our apartment

And et cetera. I will have to compile them all, now that I have internet, and get them up online. Yay!

In the meantime, this is what I have been up to:

...Being a sloth! I sleep in, I buy furniture, I clean things, I open boxes, I cook food, I buy insane amounts of stuff from Target. I am a domestic diva. Who knew?!? And I even finished a book. These Is My Words, by Nancy Turner. Fantastic book.

Now that I have internet, the job search begins... I don't know whether to be excited or mourn the passing of my days as a sloth.

Stay tuned for pics!

Love to all.

news!

2008-06-29T19:30:00.005-06:00

I'm moving!

See details: http://jasonity.blogspot.com/2008/06/jeeoooooorrrb.html

So sad to say goodbye to Boston.

SO happy for Jason.

p.s. Thanks to all of your for your wonderful advice. I am taking extensive notes.

t minus 1 month

2008-06-19T06:41:00.002-06:00

So. One month from today I will be getting married.

BIZARRO.

One month from right NOW I will probably be laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what I am getting myself into, but also probably so excited I could pee my pajamas.

Married friends: do you remember what this felt like? A month away and not sure if you have time to do everything and get it done right? Any words of wisdom for the experientially-impaired? How do I keep sane in my last month of engagement?

Not-so-married friends: you know this feeling of having WAY too much to do and WAY too little time to do it in? How do you, in particular, find balance?

I read this quote the other day: "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom in life consists in the elimination of the non-essential."

All: I loved this quote, mostly because it's something I strive for but don't quite achieve. How do you learn to let go of things and leave them for another day? How do I decide what's essential and what's not? How do I let go of guilt when I don't get all the things done that I wanted to or felt like I should for that day?

Virtual penny for your thoughts.

how to get happy in the next half hour

2008-06-04T12:26:00.002-06:00

I read this article online today... super good!

Check it:

http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/package/0,21861,1734800-1809876,00.html

And then go have a bunch of yogurt pretzels.
That was my happiness package of the day.

DELICIOUS.

drunk call

2008-05-30T16:31:00.002-06:00

A few months ago, one of my coworkers told me about how when he and his friends get smashed, they try to make sure one of them is not super drunk so that he can prevent the others from "drunk calling" their ex-girlfriends or girls that they have crushes on and saying stuff that is ridiculous.

I could've used one of those preventative persons last week.

Tiredness and I make a dynamic combo. After a couple weeks of going to bed late and getting up early, I was both sick and tired. One night I got home late--again--and Jason and I decided it was too late to try to see each other, so we read scriptures over the phone and then I went to bed. I say "we read scriptures" but I mostly fell asleep on the phone--both while Jason was reading and while I was reading. Yes, I fell asleep reading aloud. Incredible. I was wasted.

We said good night, apparently (I have no memory of this) and I fell asleep for realz, with my light on as always. An hour later, Jason looks at his phone and it is on silent but ringing, and it's me calling. It's 1:04 in the morning. He answers: "Hello?" I say an exuberant but slurred "Good MOHRGNING!" He's like, "Um, what do you need? Are you okay?" - totally confused as to why I am calling and not saying anything. I respond, "Mumble mumble mumble mumble." Jason: "Um, what?" Me: "Mumble mummbbblle..." Jason instructed me to go back to bed. "Okay," I say. "Bye!" He looks at his phone confusedly and replies, "Bye..." waits for me to hang up... I do. Conversation over.

The best part is that I remember about 2 seconds of this experience. I remember being on the phone and saying "Good morning." I must have dreamed that it was the next morning and Jason was calling me to wake me up, as usual... but then, how did I grab my phone, open it, and call him? UNKNOWN, my friends. The mystery of being drunk that will never be solved. I have made my first drunk phone call. Drunk on lack of sleep. Drunk on LOVE. Hahahahahaha. I'm a dork.

But it does make for a really funny story.

lahv, the sequel

2008-05-12T05:37:00.004-06:00

Yup. Tis true. Jason gave me the best present for my birthday yesterday: he gave me his heart. (aghhhh, CHEEEEEESY!)

He also gave me a beautiful ring! Here are some photos:

Among the lilacs in the Arnold Arboretum

The ring! It is gorgeous!

Take 2: side profile.

What is a Laura and Jason photo shoot without a crazy shot? Seriously.

Dear friends at my birthday picnic

Happy birthday to ME! Such a fun day. Such an eventful day. Such an unforgettable day. Ahhh, it is good to think about spending eternity with my best, best friend.

The big day is Saturday July 19 in the Seattle temple. That day can come as fast as it wants. :)

fo-tos!

2008-05-05T09:15:00.009-06:00

HERE THEY ARE, the much promised photos! Of course many more can be seen at my picasa site:
http://picasaweb.google.com/laura.pugmire
You're welcome to browse through those, they're fun.
Some of my favorites from the Utah trip:

J and I on Sunday afternoon. Oh, sunshine!

This is my favorite picture EVER of my sister Melissa and her husband Ammón. I LOVE them.

Yay, family! Mom, Grandma, Melissa, Ammón, Dad, Me. Congrats Meliss!

I LOVE THIS PICTURE. My grandma adores Jason.

Aw, we so cute. :)

My goodly parents. They are rad.

Ma girlz... Mad Mordigan and Tawni.
And a little of the deliciousness that is Cafe Rio.
Love you ladies, thanks for makin time.

I wish we'd taken photos at Joy and Pace's... (thanks so much again guys, and I LOVED seeing everyone who came!) and I wish I'd remembered to take my camera in to my grandma's birthday bash... maybe Melissa will post photos? (gentle urging... oh so gentle... ha)

It was a pretty awesome trip. Just the best trip ever of all time. My cousin's sealing was beautiful. It was SO fun to spend time with so much family, who I love and miss. I saw old roommates and friends from Boston and BYU alike, met the people Jason loves and who so obviously love him, and just generally enjoyed a smooth, natural, comfortable, amazing trip.

I love everything.

i know i promised pictures...

2008-05-01T17:22:00.004-06:00

... but I haven't had time yet. But I will! Totally forthcoming. In the meantime, here are my thoughts from today, copied from an email to a friend.

It's interesting... on the mission your sense of purpose is keen; you know clearly what you're supposed to be doing and there are very clear ways of identifying if you are completing your mission or not. It gives you a nice feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day to know that you did your best and obeyed all the rules and put all the little pieces in to make the perfect missionary day. Yet that time as a full-time missionary is just preparatory; as the mission progresses and when we return home, we have to start to learn to not live by checklists and instead to live by the Spirit. There is no longer anyone telling us what our mission is--we now have to discover it by revelation, and find out if we're fulfilling it by acts of faith and the later confirmation that what we've done is right. This was really hard for me when I got home. I wanted the checklist! I wanted someone to just tell me what to do, and boy howdy would I do it. I'd do it wholeheartedly, and especially if it involved teaching the gospel all day and serving people. The Lord now needed me to prepare for and find my new mission, however: He needed me to educate myself so that I could better serve Him. He needed me to be lonely a few hundred times so that I could better empathize with those whose hands hang down. He needed me to choose for myself a career path so that I could advise my children on how to do it for themselves later, so that I could find my passion on my own and feel the accomplishment of discovering it for myself and not the feeling of being forced into a career and resenting the Lord on the bad days for having "made" me do something I didn't like, and He needed me to learn to make important decisions on my own, because He's training me to be like Him, and He makes these kinds of decisions all the time. So gradually I'm starting to feel like my life's mission is as beautiful as my full-time mission was, even though it taxes me and tests me just as my mission constantly did, though in different ways. Once we've shown the Lord we want to be obedient to Him and to do His work, He trusts us to make of our lives a masterpiece, as Elder Wirthlin said, and to do many good things of our own free will. He knows we'll do good things, so He just lets us choose what we will, because He knows it will be awesome and that we won't forget to counsel with Him and listen to His gentle guidance.

ya monkey

2008-04-22T07:49:00.000-06:00

This is what Jason calls me when he thinks I'm being ridiculous. He'll just shake his head and say, "Ya monkey!" I laugh a little because he can use it when he's either entertained by my craziness or else annoyed by my...craziness (read: bad mood). In either case, it comes off as funny and he comes off as chill instead of cruel. Thing #572 that I love about Jason.

But check this out... Now. Which one of us deserves the title of monkey? Is it me? I submit that it is not.

PEARD

2008-04-21T06:17:00.002-06:00

So I have had a lot on my mind lately. (Oh, and promised pics will come soon; sorry for the barrage of texty posts. I know, I'm boring. But they're comin.) A lot of my mind. I found out Friday afternoon that I did not get in. That information catalyzed a series of interesting emotions in me, including rejection, disappointment, and confusion. Yet right on the heels of those more heavy emotions came the lift; peace and calmness were surprisingly the most lasting of all the emotions I felt that day. A beloved friend had taught me just days before that peace and excitement accompany righteous decisions (PEARD!), so I had this on my mind already. When I found that my supposed disappointment actually brought me peace and a strange excitement for the future, I was surprised, but knew that peace comes from only one Source, so I am going to trust it. Hmm. I am wondering now what the future will bring, but whatever it is, it's bound to be an adventure! I feel that this new turn of events is the Lord's way of guiding my life in a place He wants it to go. I've already committed it to Him; now my task is to trust His path and not wander around in the misty darkness anymore. Forward!

The weekend was full of fun and good times, too. Pics will come from that as well! Let me just say that temple sealings are the best BEST thing in the world, receptions with dancing are fantastic, and sunny days can lift your spirits like nothin else.

Ok. Photos a-comin.

tgif

2008-04-18T05:59:00.002-06:00

Today Jason and I woke up early to go watch the sun rise over the harbor from "our spot" on the wharf. It was soooo romantical. What a lovely morning. I'll post pictures latah. We decided to start the day together now instead of ending it... this will be fun.

In other news, today is the day. I find out somewhere around 8pm if I was accepted. If you want to know, call me or email me after that time and I will give you the deets. Be prepared for emotional instability on my part, regardless of the outcome. :)

a/c

2008-04-16T10:11:00.002-06:00

I turned on the a/c in my car this morning for the first time all year as I drove to work. (Nevermind that I was driving to work at 11am... wicked cramps kept me bedridden all morning. Boo.)

Today I am grateful for sunshine and warm!!!

jacób and el rey benjamín

2008-04-15T12:44:00.002-06:00

I have been obsessed lately with a phrase that dawned upon me one day while discussing relationships with Jason: "You need to FEEL the void before you want to FILL it." I had a further conversation with a friend about this subject last night. Here are my thoughts as of this morning.

Elder Eyring talks about King Benjamin in these words:

"He started in his discourse where we must all begin to help people escape spiritual disaster. People have to believe that the danger is real to want to find safety. They have to fear the consequence of ignoring the peril. He made clear the hazards we face because we are free to choose between right and wrong and because we cannot avoid the consequence of those choices. He spoke directly and sharply because he knew what sorrow would come to those who might not hear and heed his warnings." ( http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-602-4,00.html )

That is what I meant by FEELING the void before you feel the need to FILL it. There must be a recognized and felt need for Christ's grace before one desires to call upon it. Amazingly, the Spirit reminds us of our need for the Atonement in an enabling way: He helps us feel the hope of possible change at the same moment He reminds us of our inadequacy. Satan puts his own ridiculous twist upon that feeling by reminding us constantly of our inadequacy, but also robbing our lives of hope. The devil makes us feel that change is impossible, and we're stuck in a rut forever with no way out.

Prophets of God follow the pattern of the Spirit, of course: they help us recognize our "awful reality" and "awful guilt" (2 Nephi 9:46-47, the promised Jacob reference) but also point out that Christ provides a very accessible and clear way out, and though the path is narrow and strait, it leads to lasting happiness. It is interesting to read 2 Nephi 9 and listen to the way Jacob contrasts the awful consequences of sin, but then notice how hopefully he points to Christ, and the rad way he does it and rejoices in the Atonement. ( http://scriptures.lds.org/en/2_ne/9/ ) Instruments of the devil, and our own thoughts when influenced by him, focus only on the sin and not the salvation; they repeat our rebellion instead of rejoicing in the hope of redemption.

I so want to rejoice. Get thee hence, sad imitation of the plan.

resurrection

2008-03-27T08:25:00.002-06:00

At the risk of participating in sacrilege, I use this title to describe both my return to blogging and the things I've had on my mind as of late.

But first things first. Many requests have come in to describe the official Meet the Parents trip (hereafter, MTP) and what in the blazes is going on in my life now that I have a slight addition to it.

So here we go. The rundown:

Friday March 7. Fly to Seattle. Nauseatingly nervous the entire flight. Not sure what I'm getting myself into. Do I really want to do this?? I hardly know this guy!!! AHHH! Land in Seattle, Jason's there waiting. He greets me with a kiss and one of those lovely enveloping hugs... I feel slightly better. Jason's sister Cara picks us up at the airport and we go to her house to play with kids and bond with Cara. She is rad, I loved her already, and her kids are hilarious. Legs tired from flying kids in the air like airplanes. My mom and Grandma come to Cara's to pick us up. We journey up to home, drop off Jason's stuff at his folks' house. I meet his folks. They are also rad. His mom can be described in Anne with an E's words: a kindred spirit. His dad is a love. I like them already. Calming down. We go to my high school's play that night, choreographed by my cool mother, and enjoy the antics therein. Jason's parents came too. Then we all go to my house afterwards for chatting and treats. I am officially calmed down by nighttime as Jason tells my family the story of how I stole his heart. Haha. I'm such a sucker for hearing stories about myself. Is that vain?

Saturday March 8. MTP trip, day 2. Sleep in, long run in the beautiful Washington countryside. Oh how I miss it! 8 miles and I was feelin good. Jason's off shopping all morning with his folks, I'm bonding with my lovely grandma and hilarious brother Brian. It's good times. Jason and his folks come over for linner, which is a delicious salmon. Holy cow can my mom cook up a salmon. We play games, my grandma almost destroys us all, and we feel bad about making David and Gena lose (those are the fabled Parents). Jason takes one for the team and loses on purpose so that his dad doesn't have to be in the loser's post forever. At least, I think he lost on purpose. He'd never say; he's too humble. Then we just kick it and talk for a while. Later we go bowling with Jason's bro Ian and his gf Lindsay and also my brother Brian. It is hilarious. Lindsay wins by a long shot despite weighing 88 pounds. I break a nail and lose to everyone. Shoot. Brian bowls for his 2nd time ever and almost kills us on his backswing when he accidentally released his bowling ball a bit early... but yet he manages to still beat me. ARRRGHH. Eventually we go back to my house and Jason is bonding with my dad and mom and I fall asleep. I'm tired and it's 2am in Boston! Jason goes home.

Sunday March 9. MTP day Last. Church day! We decided to go to my home ward as Jason doesn't know anybody anymore in his parents' and I love my ward like I love my extended family. Jason picks me up and we make our way. Church is good and everybody's wondering who this dashing young man is... I tell them he's my dude. Old bishops and laurel advisors are examining my left hand for something sparkly... I tell them in no uncertain terms that we've known each other for barely two months. Geez, people. Some rad folks give rad talks about gospel learning and I am reminded to keep things in balance and keep diligently pursuing truth. I highly enjoy sitting by both Jason and my grandma. Man I love that lady. And I'm starting to feel like Jason and I just... go together. Weird. After church we truck it to his folks' house where we are celebrating the birthdays of Jason's dad, brother-in-law, and niece all in one fell swoop. We have a great time chatting, being amused by the kids, and getting to know each other. So fun. Jason's mom is becoming one of my favorite ladies ever. Later on it's time to leave. I say adios to The Parents. Gena gives me a big, tender hug like one you'd get from an angel. David embraces me like an Italian godfather and kisses me on the cheek and tells me he loves me. Hahaha, like father, like son... took Jason just about that long after knowing me before he was kissing me and saying L words. Oh I loved it! It was so fun to see where Jason comes from and see him interact with his family and with mine. We went over to his brother Ian's for a while to bond with him, then back to my house for general chatting. My family fell in love with Jason's musical talent and he was giving my mom and Brian lessons in theory over the piano. So fun. Then eventually he went home. I got the thumbs up from everybody in my family and we went to bed.

Monday March 10. Travel back to Boston. Mom and Grandma drove us to Seattle and Jason and I flew across the country together... beginning our journey. We have the greatest time on the flights, just chatting and wearing our matching Chuck Taylors and laughing and, oh, a little cuddling in the mix. I meet a lovely Croatian woman on the flight back and Jason attempts sleeping on the plane. Eventually we make it back to the east coast. We meet a lovely boy from Boston who is getting ready to go to BYU next year as a freshman who asks us if we're married or siblings or something. Hahaha, what a funny way to word that question! Usually you don't include such extremes in the same question, but cool. And we got in the car and drove to our new lives in Boston.

...And it's been a whirlwind ever since! I have had a few moments of panic as this new unpredictable variable has entered in my very life that was previously very predictable and quite under control--under my control. It's been a trip to allow a little bit of uncertainty in and to face the unknown future with faith. Somehow, miraculously, with all of that uncertainty and unknown also comes a whole lotta fun, love, learning, molding, growth, progress, and the filling of my heart in ways I didn't know were possible as I learn that it really is way more blessed to give than to receive.

Hmm. I think that the rest of my resurrectional thoughts will now have to be saved for another day... this has become long. I will leave that as a teaser, then--a taste of what's to come. Get ready to have my philosophical and spiritual musings laid out before you like so many proverbial fruits.

I love you all.

p.s. Sorry for no pictures--I forgot to take my camera! Oh, the humanity!!!

warshington

2008-03-06T14:39:00.001-07:00

Off I go to the good ol' WA! Wish me luck. See some of you there; talk to others of you soon.

xoxo

tulips

2008-03-02T21:40:00.003-07:00

Is it possible for me to be dating a cooler or more thoughtful guy? I submit that it is not. These are the tulips Jason sent "to brighten the next two weeks until we see each other again." Holy cheesy. And AWESOME. I love them.

Plan for the week: work crazy hours, keep training for the half marathon, take off on Friday for Seattle to play Meet The Family with Jason's family and my family. We're even planning a dinner with his parents, my parents, and my grandma. Gutsy? Nah. It'll be so so fun. Let's pray for sunshine, too, so we can go to the islands. I'll be there all weekend and back to Boston on Monday, Jason in tow, where he'll begin his new life as a returned Bostonian. Wish him luck. And a job.

Hey, want to see adorable pictures of my nieces and nephew? Click here.

Love to you all.

tag-ged

2008-02-29T15:08:00.004-07:00

I have been "tagged." This, apparently, is a common thing, and now I must expose you to the dismal details of my past. Onward:

10 Years Ago:
I was a junior in high school, getting ready to take the ACT and looking at scholarship applications. I was still in my shy and awkward stage because I was younger than everybody else I went to school with, so I just tried to fly under the radar and not draw any attention to myself. This was also the time that Tif and I wrote one of the best plays of all time, which remains unrivaled e'en to this day. Especially because it got us out of Mr. Langei's class every day... genius. And I was getting ready to take driver's ed. And was about ready to turn 16 and start to date. And, unfortunately, already had my first date lined up... prom. Ick. Worst date ever. Oh, the memories... My sister Kristen was applying to BYU and I was uncertain about how I was going to survive my last year of high school without her. I was, however, stoked for tennis season! I heart tennis.

5 Things on my "To-Do" list today:
1. Finish compiling data displaying results of integration testing on my latest programming project. Yes, it is as boring as it sounds, which is why I'm writing on my blog. I needed a break.
2. See Vantage Point with some girlz. I heart action and drama films, too, but not as much as tennis.
3. Find time to do Pilates.
4. Talk to my love interest on the phone. Only one more Friday of phone dates, yahoo!
5. Read dem scriptures. I heart those more than tennis.

I Enjoy...
Springtime, outside, sunshine, running (who knew?), tennis (see above), Spanish, kids, sharing the gospel, laughing, dancing, Jason, witty banter, Pilates, travel, the smell of fresh-cut grass, strawberries, swinging, the theater, good tunes, driving fast cars, snowboarding, walking through undisturbed snow, surprise hugs from behind, being with family, hammocks.

What Would I Do If I Were Suddenly a Billionaire?
Definitely set up a school in Latin America to give youth and single parents computer hacking skills. I mean, actual computer skills. I have a whole plan for this, actually. The teachers would be a local resident, first trained then left to act on his/her own, so the school would be self-sustaining. I'd become highly involved in the microenterprise and microfinance world. I'd give a whole huge chunk to the Perpetual Education Fund and see about how my computer school could partner with it and grow to benefit more lives. I'd probably get another degree or two just for the sake of learning. I'd pay off my parents' mortgage and give a chunk to my familias for investing. I'd fund some scholarships hopefully through my high school or through the Marriott School. I'd like to see a joint MEd and MBA degree at BYU and I'd push for that. I'd invest a ton of it so it would grow for my kids' and grandkids' futures. Ha, I have all kinds of ridiculous ideas... now if only I were a rich woman, ba da biddy biddy bum...

5 Jobs I Have Had:
1. IT Consultant at Revenue Solutions, Inc.
2. Spanish teacher at the MTC
3. Art Prep Liaison at Premier
4. Intern with Novell's IS&T Architecture Team
5. Sales Clerk, BYU Bookstore, General Book

I am supposed to pass this on I think... to three people... I will tag... Tif, Kristen, Melissa, and Meres. HA, that's four! I'm busting up the limits all over the place. Ain't nobody gonna tell ME how many people to tag...

heart day

2008-02-19T22:13:00.004-07:00

Here are photos from our super fun weekend... only two but we's fancy! This was before our super romantical dinner and dancing cruise around the harbor. Favorite moments: (1) when Jason requested Jamiroquai and then only the two of us danced to it while everyone else was jealous of our sweet moves, (2) fighting off a drunken lady from stealing my date, (3) dancing around like crazy people to Mighty Mighty Bosstones, (4) being romantical, and being ok with it!

Other activities: apartment and job searching for Jason, dinner at Giaccomo's (yummm butternut squash ravioli), falling asleep to a movie, making breakfast together, temple shift, grocery shopping, church, making dinner with my roommates, lovely conversation, lots of laughing, breakfast w/ roomies (thanks J) and general good fun.

Thanks Jason for a FANTASTIC weekend. Come over and play again soon.

THE story

2008-02-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

Ready for a novel? Here we go...

Jason Graham and I met... I have no idea when. I'm sure I met him sometime in the mid- to late 90s; at least, I knew who he was then, though our social circles never quite intersected. I am from Ferndale, he is from Bellingham. I went to Ferndale 3rd ward as part of the Bellingham Stake. So we didn't go to the same high schools, but his high school girlfriend is a good friend of mine, and I sortof knew who he was. Sortof.

Jason went to Boston after high school for his first year of college. He attended Berklee School of Music here. (Yep, he's a music nerd.) Then he decided he needed to serve a mission, and was called to Las Vegas. He returned with a desire to go to BYU, which he did, and our paths consistently did not cross. I went on my mission and came home. I worked where I always had when I got home in June 2005, and worked with Jason's younger brother, Sean, who had also just gotten back from his mission, spoke Spanish like I did, and appeared to suffer from the same nasty stomach problems upon returning to American food. So we bonded and he was like a little brother to me.

I went back to BYU and had a great time. We had one Bellingham-area reunion of Washington folks, which I found pictures of the other day and saw that Jason had, in fact, been there, which I didn't realize at the time. I don't think we even exchanged greetings at that little fiesta.

Aside: You will know and recognize that previous to this point, I had dated around my fair share. I'd had several boyfriends and enjoyed the attentions of some pretty respectable dudes. I'd not been able to conquer my fear of commitment, or was it that I always felt something was missing? In any event, my relationships characteristically lasted anywhere from a week to three months, but never longer. I'd always end up splitting before things got too serious--or maybe after. Eternity is a long time, I told myself, and I didn't want to mess it up.

When I got to Boston, it was more of the same, though about 8 months ago I began to feel like it was time to take a break from the dating life and work on my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I felt it was crucial for me to place that part as a priority, and I felt confident that things would fall into place in their time where my eternal relationships were concerned. I was pretty happy single, though, so I didn't worry too much about getting hitched and all that.

It was hard for me as a socialite and habitual social dater to give up that part of my life, but I had some choice experiences during that time which I wouldn't trade for the world, and I learned better and more deeply what it is to receive personal revelation, the blessings of placing God first above all else, and the joy of getting lost in the service of His children. It was a semi-lonely but yet full time of my life and I loved it.

I felt it was time to go off my hiatus around October, and I got a little crush on a boy. He was funny and seemed like a very excellent guy, so we started dating. I told myself that for once I wasn't going to bail out and I was going to see this one through, and I knew I needed to get over this panicky feeling that caused me to flee. I told Heavenly Father that if it wasn't supposed to last, that the guy was going to have to end it, because I was going to see it through.

And end it he did, after about a month. I was elated! I had stuck it out! I didn't bail! Sure, I got broken up with, but I was so proud of myself that I almost didn't feel the loneliness of being single. And let's face it--I was free to flirt again, which I love to do.

That lasted a short while... until I spent time with family. Being with my sister's family for Thanksgiving and then my own family for Christmas made me realize that I was living a fun yet empty life... I was pursuing only my selfish goals and ideas, and I felt there was a barrier to my happiness because I was fighting the Lord's plan for me, which involved an eternal family. I guess I wanted to crusade across the world and head up a microenterprising scheme and be chic, sophisticated, bold, and cosmopolitan... yet I felt those tuggings on my heart that pressed on me the truth of what God wants His daughters to be: kind, compassionate, strong, feminine, warm, humble, and full of Christlike love or charity. I knew I needed to fully submit my will to His instead of just the corners that already coincided. I had a very long chat with my Father over Christmas and I promised Him I would do His will, no matter what that entailed--if it were being single for 60 more years, that was fine. If it were 5 more and I needed to put some more effort into my career, I'd do it. And if--this was the hardest one to say--He wanted me to put my all into a relationship with a man that He'd lead me to right here and right now, I'd give up my plans and old habits and I'd do it. I got a blessing from my dad that confirmed I would be led along the way, that I'd know God's will for me, and gave me some key indicators as to how I'd recognize this plan as it unfolded, and this man as I got to know him.

With this new mindset I flew back to Boston. I settled in and the next day picked up my roommate from the airport, then got a call from our friend Kristy who invited us to dinner with our good friend Jared Mooney and his friend who was visiting from Utah. Leah and I said sure, and I told her I already knew the friend, sortof--it was Jason. Jason and I were facebook friends as of a couple of weeks ago, and he'd asked if I'd be around in Boston when he was there. I blog stalked him and was impressed with his character and spirituality and laughed at his ridiculous sense of humor, but also realized he'd just gotten out of a year-long relationship, so he was probably looking for some good friends.

We went to dinner with a group of about 8 or 10 of us and we had a blast. Jason was hilarious and because we were both with some of our best friends in Boston, we were completely ourselves. And despite being in a group, it seemed like Jason and I were constantly enjoying the same inside joke. We appeared to have the same sense of humor, and played off each other's jokes nicely. But Jared was trying to set up Jason with Kristy, so I laid low and just acted like my normal retarded self. This was probably helpful actually, looking back now...

Later I headed to the store and Jason snagged my number from Jared and texted me to come over to Jared's and watch the Pats game. I found out Kristy was going to be there so I figured I shouldn't, as I tend to be loud where Kristy is quiet, but Kristy texted me to come over and so did Jared, so over I came. It was more of the same with Jason: enjoying some funny jokes, watching him play guitar and be cool, trying to learn to play the drums and being retarded at it, and just generally feelin the flow with some Jasonity. Know what I mean? It was easy and fun. But who knew, he was just in town for a bit and I hardly knew him. But he had invited me to go down to New York City with Jared and Jared's girlfriend, and I thought, why not? I called him later that night to work out the details and we ended up chatting for another half hour. And he appeared to share my affinity for texting... a definite good sign.

Next day was church. I was teaching and he came to my class. He says now that he loved seeing my testimony and that definitely piqued his interest. We sat together in Sacrament at the end and generally laughed our way through the meeting, except at the spiritual parts, where we were appropriately stoic. :) He was just so dang funny! And he had forgotten his church shoes, so he was wearing blue and green Sauconys to church, which I thought was terribly cool.

Jason headed down with Jared and Annie to NY later that afternoon in Jared's car... and I caught a bus later that night when I got permission from my boss to take off early. Turned out my beloved MTC companion was going to be in New York, too, but for much shorter of a time than I thought, so I went down early to spend time with her before she left.

Good thing! I arrived in NY and stayed where Jason did, at some girls' place who he had known from BYU. We stayed in separate rooms but ended up staying up until 3am talking, just about life and the gospel and our families and what we thought about things and laughing and whatever. It was still so easy to talk to him. He wished we'd met 5 years ago, but I told him it never would have worked back then. We now comment on the interesting road that we both took... Jason talks about how we led parallel lives but never met. I realize that the last year especially has been instrumental in preparing me to recognize him when I did. He told me he had a crush on me, and I admitted that I was sortof interested too (gotta keep 'em guessing, right? haha). He held my hand, and it felt like he'd been doing it for years. Again--everything was so natural and easy. Of course we would hold hands. It just made sense.

Next morning I was up early to meet my old companion, Morgan, and we did the breakfast thing at a little café on 37th. We wandered around the city and Jason met up with us later for good times and lots of laughs. We window shopped and went to Chinatown and Soho and Morgan gave me the thumbs up on Jason after about 15 minutes. This was surprising to me, but I trusted it, since she knows me well but is just about as picky as anybody. We were holding hands around the city and just having a great time. Met up with Jared, Annie, and other old friends of Jared's and Jason's later and had lunch and went to Times Square to wait out the next 8 hours for the dropping of the ball.

It was freezing at first! But then the clouds came in and the wind stopped, and they played music that pulled the dance out of you. Jason kept thinking of fun things for us to do, like the limbo or games or a congo line or what have you. Never boring, that Jason. And I didn't mind having someone to snuggle with to keep me warm. :) haha! It was fun in the Square because we met people from all over, heard famous people sing live, and Morgan and I had a trip down memory lane when a girl we met from Tennessee asked us to tell her more about Mormonism. Hermana Pugmire and Hermana McArthur reunited! It was fun to share our testimonies with her of a living prophet and our belief in Christ as Savior and Redeemer and center of all we believe and do. I tell ya, the gospel can be shared anywhere... we directed her to mormon.org and hopefully she has taken a look at that and ordered her own copy of the Book of Mormon.

And the moment we were all waiting for finally came... a few frozen noses and toeses later. The ball dropped, there was singing, there was cheering, there was confetti, and there was THE MOST AMAZING first kiss of all time. Jason definitely kissed me, and it was definitely like a movie. This is super cheesy and gross, but I swear time slowed down and the background noise was softened and there was nobody there but just the two of us. It was magical. Not even joking.

I had a ridiculous grin on my face for the rest of the night and we eventually got back to where we were staying again. I had a fever so Jason made me drink lots of water and sleep on the couch while he took the cold, cold air mattress in the other room which had been my bed the previous night. Thoughtful, that one. Next day we went to Ground Zero and back to Times Square to see a remarkably clean version of where we'd rung in the new year and just bummed around the city until I had to go back to Boston. I caught the bus and off I went.

He stayed in New York... until he changed his flight and caught a bus back up to Boston so he could spend more time with me. Ha! He totally had a huge crush on me! So he came up and we spent more time together, which was fantastic and so fun and, again, so natural and easy and good. We had great conversations and laughed a ton and it was comfortable with my roommates and just good and getting better. We decided we'd try long distance... and then he left on Saturday night that first week of January.

So that's what we've been doing ever since. Me and Jason, long distancing it up. And when I think about it, it's the most random thing ever, but it just... clicked. Everything that was ever missing with the guys I had dated before appears to be had by this guy. I don't know. I have no idea where it'll lead or what, but for now, it's fantastic and I have officially and for the first time fallen in love. I know, I know... blaagghhhh, soooo cheesy! But that's how it is.

I went to Salt Lake last week to visit and it was so great. We went snowboarding (he's awesome at this), we went to the temple, we made food together (he's terrible at this), we hung out with my family and his family and just enjoyed each other. And he comes in two weeks for valentines day weekend... yep, he's pretty sappy. He sends me flowers and handwritten letters and even slideshows he makes with funny songs in the background to make me laugh. We can talk for hours, and he's always thinking of me before himself. Amazing. I think he's quite a catch. And he seems to like me too.

Honestly, the thing that keeps me from running (and I have felt the need from time to time...old habits still die hard) is that we seem to connect so deeply on every level. I respect him, I can laugh with him, and I can tell that he sees in me the best parts of myself, and I just want to be everything that he seems to see. I have felt that I can share the innermost feelings of my heart with him, and that is something to hold on to.

Well there you have it. The novel you were waiting for, or probably not, but that's what came out. I'm sortof sorry it's so long, except I love talking about it so much because it's just so fun and different from the norm! Jason is moving out to Boston on March 10 and I'm super stoked about it. We've also just bought tickets to go back to Washington to do the whole meet the family gig next month, so that is comin up too. I had one moment of panic after we bought the tickets, but again--it's just too good to screw up. Too, too good.

So there you have it! More photos and info at Jason's blog or at my Picasa site.

Now you should probably go use the restroom, since you've been sitting here reading this for approximately
5 HOURS.

words of wisdom

2008-02-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

I found this online repository of sorts of President Gordon B. Hinckley's talks... Looks like it's worth a peruse or two or three. My bishop encouraged us yesterday to take the next month to reflect on his words... I'll take him up on it, and love the additional help of the internet. Thanks to Lauren for providing the original link!

I had a beautiful conversation with my coworkers today about what distinguishes our doctrine from other "mainstream Christianity" and loved the reaffirmation that God still speaks to His children through a living prophet. What a blessing and a building of testimony.

my addiction

2008-02-01T14:59:00.001-07:00

I am 46% done with this billing cycle with respect to my cell phone usage. So far I have sent 1,396 texts and received 1,357. That's a grand total of 2,753 texts sent and received... and I'm not even halfway through the cycle yet.

Thank goodness for unlimited texting.

weekend update

2008-01-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

Some of you folks have been curious as to how the weekend went... I'll refer you to Jason's blog and just tell you that it was perfect and I loved all of it.

Unrelatedly, Luden's Honey Lemon throat drops are the best thing for a sore throat...EVER. No need for nasty salt water gargling. No need.

And you should've SEEN the looks on my coworkers' and home teachers' and roommates' faces when I showed up with a (fake) engagement ring on my finger... Oh man. Priceless. I know the boy who cried wolf regretted his actions later, but I think I'll be chuckling inside for many days to come. Thank you Wal-Mart for the $10 gift of laughter. ... I'm a horrible person.

And now, back to COBOL...

In Loving Memory

2008-01-29T13:26:00.001-07:00

I have fought a good fight,

I have finished my course,

I have kept the faith.

Henceforth there is laid up for me

a crown of righteousness,

which the Lord, the righteous judge,

shall give me at that day:

and not to me only,

but unto all them also

that love his appearing.

(2 Tim 4:7-8)

May his memory inspire us to goodness always.

coiffures, crepes, and confidence

2008-01-23T12:44:00.000-07:00

Coiffures. There is a group of guys at my work that have started numbering my hairdos. Another guy stops by my desk daily just to see how I've done my hair for the day. Today he informed me that I had "exceeded [his] expectations." Haha, glad I exist to entertain, at least in some form, here at work.

Crepes. The group of women I work with and I went to eat at La Creperie in Harvard Square and it was DIVINE. Coworker Tina and I have decided that heaven consists of eating fruity crepes with Nutella on a warm afternoon, outside, by some water, sitting in a swing in the shade, a light breeze, and a fun flowy sundress with bare feet and windswept hair. Ok, I embellished a little. She just said crepes and outside and warm, but I think real heaven involves bare feet. Let's be frank.

Confidence. One of the best talks ever has been floating around my head this week. I am learning a new definition of faith, as suggested by Elder Uchtdorf in the Oct 2007 conference: that faith is "believing in the Redeemer, the Son of God, 'with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save' and then '[pressing] forward with a steadfastness in Christ, . . . feasting upon the word of Christ' (2 Nephi 31:19–20). I'd always felt strongly about the "believing in the Redeemer" part of faith, but not considered that pressing forward was a form of faith as well, and one of the most powerful ways we exercise our faith. I pray that I can have faith sufficient to be steadfast, even and especially when the going gets tough.

things I could do without

2008-01-21T15:26:00.000-07:00

1. Sleep. It is boring.
2. Going to the bathroom. Gets in the way of all my fun and I don't like to have to plan around them.
3. Having to do hair AND makeup. I often just choose one or the other. Both is a little overwhelming.
4. Eating and drinking. See #2.
5. Paying for food. If I need it to live, should I really be paying for it? Should I pay for air, too? I don't think so. Food should be free. Especially tasty food.

life is beautiful... and so are these flowers

2008-01-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of what I came home to late the other night... thanks Jason. You are the cheese and I lahv you.

Also in the news: my friend Natalie broke her foot falling down her icy Boston steps.... lame. And my sister Kristen is super amazing with the insights and has the cutest kids. See here.

And now, back to planning my lesson and trying not to daydream too much. Hahaha, I'm a dork.

gamut

2008-01-15T05:33:00.000-07:00

Mornings: I love love love mornings. I think they are the awesomest for thinking and getting stuff done. My coworker and I have this new resolution to be in to work at 7am. So here I am early... and definitely blogging, because it's creepily quiet in here and I'm not sure how to handle it. So I reach out to you in this virtual fashion, somehow proving my existence is still valid by posting my thoughts online. What a weird void I'm trying to fill right now.

To Do Lists: Every day I fill out an index card with a list of things to do. They fall in three categories: "Today," "Work," and "Soon." Every day I check off about two things on that list. I'm beginning to wonder why I even make it... maybe to keep myself humble because I can easily see how awesome I am NOT doing. Sigh... Maybe under the "Today" section of the current card I'll write "Do stuff on this list."

Biggest Loser: Week 2's weigh-in showed that if you work out a lot but then increase the amount of food you eat, you stay at the same weight. Huh. Adios, fun nighttime snacks and mid-afternoon treats... :)

Dorkiness: Last night found Jason and I on the phone for over an hour having PFHE--Potential Family Home Evening. Hehehe. His term, not mine. I don't say stuff like that because it gives me ulcers. We made a paper chain (well, two, rather) to count down the days until I go to Utah and then read Alma 32 together. I kept thinking in my head, "This is oh-so-dorky!" But then I got over it because it was still fun. Hehe. Permission to be retarded?

Snow Day: It snowed 8 inches yesterday, or something. I decided I didn't want to have yet another traumatic snow experience with my car, so it was imperative that I stay home for almost the whole day. I slept until 9, made French toast for my roommates, sat in my bed doing some work but mostly burning cds and aimlessly surfing the internet, shoveled snow for a good hour, and finally headed in to work at 4:30pm. What a day.

Back to work...

hahaha

2008-01-11T14:52:00.000-07:00

Favorite two links of the day:

http://www.wikihow.com/Braid-a-Woman%27s-Hair-on-a-Date
http://popvssoda.com:2998/countystats/total-county.html

Back to life, back to e-reality...

2008-01-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

Here I come, back to the world of the bloggers with a vengeance. A new look, a new outlook, and an apparent affinity for Van Gogh. Who knew? Here's a report on 2007, since I didn't blog about it so awesome...ly.

January: Worked, put off running, made new friends, got new cool coworkers, was very cold.

February: Started running, bought new car to combat coldness, scratched said car, loved missionary work.

March: Can't remember. My mom's birthday is this month, though. Oh yeah, one failed romantic enterprise.

April: Entertained some lovely visitors--my two sisters came to Boston and we enjoyed the sites and Wicked in NYC!

May: Went home for Memorial Day, fell in love with Washington State all over again, ran a half marathon, turned 25.

June: Loved the Boston summer. Had visits from old friends from high school and worked some mo'...went to Phoenix.

July: Went to Utah, younger sister Melissa got married, was very hot, learned to love linen skirts, went to Palmyra for the first time, met more new friends, ate at a restaurant called Pug's, played a lot of tennis. I love summer!

August: Played still more tennis, plus ultimate, plus swam, got a new phone, was anxious to go to Europe.

September: Perfected my newly-acquired salsa dancing skills, WENT TO ENGLAND and FRANCE, went to my first bachelorette party, went to Sharon, VT, had a crush on a boy.

October: Dated aforementioned boy, dressed as Punky Brewster for Halloween, Gen Conf round 2, Elder Holland came for Education Conference, worked a lot, loved New England in the fall.

November: Co-taught a Spanish course, got broken up with for the first time (but handled it quite well, thank you), went to Kentucky to spend Thanksgiving with my nieces and nephew and sister and bro-in-law, claimed title of Favorite Aunt.

December: Worked a lot more, made more new friends, took the GRE, saw White Christmas in the theatre, saw the Urban Nutcracker (unique to Boston), had a New York Christmas trip, shoveled approx. 4 feet of snow, saw the Celtics, flew home for the holidays, loved my family, thought a lot more about Christ this year, read a lot, came back to Boston, headed to NY for New Years and while there, fell in love for the first time.

I'd say it was a pretty awesome year.

muggy muggles

2007-06-02T16:50:00.000-06:00

Holy cow. It is HOT in Boston. I ran this morning and I probably lost about 5 pounds in pure sweat. Gross, man. Gross.

So it is entirely possible that I remain single for the rest of my born days. I came to this realization today when I was reflecting upon my inability to reciprocate romantical feelings towards those menfolk that feel them for me, and my just-as-awesome inability to make boys that I really dig like me back. What is up with that? So I have declared for myself a celibate life, and I will now become a literary genius. I think that's what all truly frustrated people do, don't they? Or perhaps those that just have a lot to say. I seem to fall in both categories lately. Haha.

I also by the way am convinced that temples are the coolest places on earth, and that each of us has a specific plan, a specific mission, and a specific need to put our wills on the altar of sacrifice constantly.

And that isolating oneself is BAD.

I think I should probably go to bed.

home is where the heart...

2007-05-28T00:38:00.000-06:00

I've found that for me, home is where the heart can rest. I've been home for two days and my heart feels so at peace. Sure, there are constant tuggings at it to be better, kinder, more loving... but I've noticed that in my home, I feel safe. I feel like the most pure me, and that even though I recognize my shortcomings, it's a safe place to start over and not feel attacked for past mistakes. Yay for home! I went to my home ward today and a lovely woman who is grandma to the whole ward basically came up to me and put her arm around me and said, "Welcome HOME." I felt like Anne of Green Gables or something. I knew I was home. Ahh, bliss.

Funny things happen in Ferndale, though... I went to my friend Meredith's wedding yesterday, lovely, and afterwards my parents and I headed to the spring formal to get some wedding reception ideas for my sister's wedding in July. The stake here puts on a spring formal to give the kids an alternative to the sometimes nasty prom environment. It's really cute and the parents go all out on decor and food and all the fixins. Yesterday they had a lighthouse, boats, a boardwalk, a sea scene, seashell lights, candle-sand lanterns... you name it, it was there, and it was magical. Apparently the magic had an effect on the 16-year-olds, too, because one of them asked me to dance. I was like, "Um, I'm 25." He responds, "Oh really, you're that old?" Hahaha, poor kid... and poor me, who apparently still looks like she's in high school! Arghhh. I'm sure I'll love it when I'm 70, but for now... HAhahahaha. Best moment all week.

Faith and Science

2007-03-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

I found myself tonight at MIT. I got sucked into the intellectual side of things, I suppose, though I must say the most appealing part of the place to me was the lovely view of the river. Ah yes, AND the stimulating environment. Ian Hutchinson gave a lovely discourse on the rationalization of faith and science and whether or not they are at odds or not. My date and I concluded that science is a particular area of focus of the larger whole that is religion--that is to say, science is a way of coming to know truth, and much truth can be had by observing things as they are and through repeatable demonstrations that they are so. However, as Emma Darwin wrote to remind her husband Charles, "May not the habit in scientific pursuits of believing nothing till it is proved, influence your mind too much in other things which cannot be proved in the same way, & which if true are likely to be above our comprehension." Or in my words, there are many ways of proving things, not all of which are perceived by the area of our mind that conceives of things along a logical continuum. In fact, as I learned in the Museum of Science last week, one of the largest pieces of our brains is the part that is concerned with things moral, ethical, and religious. It is, in fact, about three times the size of the logical and analytical parts of our brains. So, then, we are meant to observe things as they are, scientifically, as they were, historically, and meant to find out how things will be through other faculties--things which, though they may perhaps not be "proved in the same way," yet they can be felt to "ring true," and to "have a certain authority," to borrow from Professor Hutchinson. And so I conclude again, because of things I have felt even again tonight, that not all things are known, but they can be, based on the laws and the grace of the Lawgiver.

Whew. That's what a night at MIT will do to you.

2.5 miles

2007-02-27T23:01:00.000-07:00

So I finally decided today that it was time to get running. I'm doing a half marathon in May. That's like 13 miles. MUCHO running. So today I stepped onto the treadmill in attempt to get my legs back in condition and my knees re-oiled for the journey. Mostly, though, I was amused by the inter-gym interplay. On my left are the musclehead guys impressing the mirror with the enormous amount of metal they can lift up to their chests--repeatedly--and on my right is the married guy who just got off his corporate job and is running away all the stress. In the corner is the girl who's learning what the bench press is for the first time, and then the girl with something to prove who keeps rowing and rowing and rowing on the floor beside me. And then there's me, sometime runner, in my Duke shirt, switching between CNN and the Knicks game. I wonder which category the other workerouters were putting me into? And yet I realize that it doesn't matter--one opinion does, and I can't see others' thoughts nor they mine, so I really shouldn't be deciding what type of a person anybody is anyway. What matters most in the end is not my heart's capacity to endure a long run but its capacity to extend love.

And work today was great--amazing how much better of a mood I'm in when I realize that PMS is the cause of all my woes. Ha! Realizing the cause of things helps me deal with them better. Now if only I could figure out what has caused me to be, as my sister puts it, "eternally weird."

Tonight I also fell asleep on the floor while listening to some lovely guitar playing and singing. Ahhh, bliss. Why is it that every girl is smitten by the guitar and yes, even by "Tears in Heaven"? I've heard it a million times but somehow it still makes me swoon.

I need to go to bed before I faint. Onward....

At the end of the day, you're another day older

2007-01-05T22:39:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have days where at the end, you think, 'hmm, I could have just skipped today entirely and my whole life would be completely unaffected'? Well, I have decided not to have those anymore.

And here is a picture from Christmas! These are my friends visiting before we went home for Christmas. Lisa, roommate Leah, me, roommate Blair, Kristy.

Happy New Year to all y'all...may it be filled with love and laughter! I've noticed a lot of people lately wishing for the new year to bring you "nothing but happiness." I have learned that sometimes life is better with a little sadness to help you appreciate the happy, so I will stick with wishing you instead my personal favorites. Love and laughter. :) Happy new year!

nothing left to lose

2006-09-26T22:04:00.000-06:00

I am officially bad at blogging. It's not that I don't have thoughts in my brain, or a desire to share them, but it's definitely a culture issue. I have to be retaught how to function socially on the internet. And also I sit in front of a computer all day at work, so my desire to do so at night has been somewhat quelled. I think I will stick some pictures on here soon.

So lately I was thinking about if before we were born we took a course called "Mortal Life Prep." This would be structured similar to mission prep, and, like all good mission prep courses, would have to be taught by someone who's actually been there, done that, so we were probably taught by Heavenly Father, and I bet He's pretty good at it. I think He was because all the time when we learn stuff here that we already learned there, it resonates as true within us, even though there's that veil thing. We probably learned really well there, huh. And then I was thinking, well, not only that, but He sends us people to give us sortof a Mortal Life Survival course, a crash course if you will, for those who have already started, but still need help (i.e., me). So He gives us people that are pretty good at living, who have done it for a while, and have access to some pretty nifty communication with the Experts. In sum, at the end of this thought, I was mad grateful to have prophets, and to be able to listen to them this weekend.

That is the end of the thoughts.

city of words

2006-08-13T21:15:00.000-06:00

I just got back from New York City. What a trip! And I mean that in all senses of the word... I loved the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Apple store, FAO Schwartz, Times Square, the hordes of people swarming in ebbs and flows all over the city... though I realized that I'm a country girl at heart. Gimme those wide open spaces! I ate at Serendipity (yummm, frozen hot chocolate) and went to see a Broadway show and walked and walked and walked...alarmingly unlike the pioneer children, however, I seemed to have no destination. I call it the City of Words because I heard so many from such a broad spectrum--words in different languages, dozens of them, words that were painful to hear, words of welcoming, words sprayed across buildings in effort to affect behavior, words carried by beautiful melodies into the lives of the listeners. Wherever I went, the words were everywhere. Today after church, I curled up in a chair for a while and just enjoyed the quiet. Though I did hear some of the most pleasant words today, and mostly from the mouths of the children in the Harlem Primary at church. Little Lily: "I so really sang loud!" Or Madeline and her cousin Janeesha: "Search-to look for the answer to something. Ponder-to get an idea. Pray-to make it happen." Sometimes the wisest words are those spoken by those who have spent less time speaking. I could learn a lot from that.