So. One month from today I will be getting married.
BIZARRO.
One month from right NOW I will probably be laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what I am getting myself into, but also probably so excited I could pee my pajamas.
Married friends: do you remember what this felt like? A month away and not sure if you have time to do everything and get it done right? Any words of wisdom for the experientially-impaired? How do I keep sane in my last month of engagement?
Not-so-married friends: you know this feeling of having WAY too much to do and WAY too little time to do it in? How do you, in particular, find balance?
I read this quote the other day: "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom in life consists in the elimination of the non-essential."
All: I loved this quote, mostly because it's something I strive for but don't quite achieve. How do you learn to let go of things and leave them for another day? How do I decide what's essential and what's not? How do I let go of guilt when I don't get all the things done that I wanted to or felt like I should for that day?
Virtual penny for your thoughts.
Carter & Marcus are 17!
2 days ago
11 comments:
I remember exactly how you are feeling right now!!! However, do not stress! As hard as it is not to, it will all workout. I finally declared, “As long as he shows up I will be happy.” And he did. :) The day was perfect, things probably went wrong, but I didn’t care and to us the day was perfect. Outside of that, savor every moment, especially the days leading up to your wedding. Make sure you write in your journal during that time too. (You’ll love going back and reading the way you felt that week.) Also, try to record the important little things that happen during the day. (We sat down on our honeymoon and quickly wrote out the things we didn’t want to forget.) I love having those things written down.
Sorry...that was long.
I agree with everything your friend LeAnne said. The most important thing is that both of you are there. Worry first about the things that will get you there and hopefully on time, like plane tickets and car arrangements. All the other stuff doesn't matter so much.
One of my favorite moments was right before we got married. We were sitting in a small waiting room ready to go into the sealing room where all of our family and some friends were waiting for us. We had a short, wonderful conversation and moments later we were sealed for time and all eternity. It was great.
Just try to slow down and enjoy it.
On another note, we got your announcement in the mail! You guys look so happy, I love it!
You will love your wedding day no matter what happens, what goes wrong (and things always do) and what goes perfectly. I don't remember all the little things like what was served at the reception, even who showed up (which I guess I should), I just remember how I felt and how we looked, thanks to a good photographer. The feeling throughout the day was all I remembered and cherished and all that mattered and no matter what happens, that will make it a happy day!
I wouldn't stress at all about really fine details. They all iron out on the day of anyways. Just secure larger things (photographer, cake, etc) and once those things are planned, maybe dole out smaller items to family (they love to help!) and just have fun during this time of your life!
My mom was wonderful and did most of the planning so I don't remember being stressed at all... maybe I was but I don't remember. I was also finishing my last semester at BYU one month before my wedding so I think I was MORE stressed about doing well on my finals and packing all my earthly possesions.
Everyone's right though it will be perfect no matter what. (Just don't leave your dress at the temple like we did!)
Hmm what else. Oh yes. I was supposed to tell you that Rich thinks your engagement photo could be in a catalog or something. I love it!
I certainly can't give advice about marriage or even the anticipation of such but I can give 2 bits about too much to do in too little time.
I have a motto (or mantra whatever) Make it happen, or let it go. I think I've talked to you about this enough
I read this blog today and I think you will love it: http://myfriendlikely.blogspot.com/2008/05/wanting.html
I love you and you look so beautiful and happy in your engagement picture!
being to sibling weddings and my own of course. I think..well the best thing would be eloping with just your parents. But really keep it simple, you don't want to look back at it all and wish that you had just enjoyed it and not streased so much, or making your family crazy. but, your not that type of person, remember that the most important part is the temple and the reception is just blah... something you want to get out of and enjoy being married. I'm so excited for you congrates, it will be beautiful. thanks for the messege on my blog, p.s. I love your ring!!!
I can't believe it's so close, Laura! I'm way excited to be there and share your day with you.
Don't stress too much. John lost my ring before our wedding. Poor Scotty ran out to the car at least 4 times to search through it and through John's locker...it was finally found IN HIS POCKET. But ya know? Something about being right there, in the Temple, just made that sort of thing not matter. Although John probably disagrees...he was a little worried Mom and I weren't showing up seeing as how we left B'ham right behind him and my Dad and didn't arrive for around 45 more minutes (we had to stop and get breakfast, ya know!?).
It will be beautiful. Hand over as much to your mom as you and she can handle. I think that's what made my entire experience so wonderful. My sweet mom was hesitant to "take over" because she's always resented not having much control over her wedding. But once she realized that I really only cared dearly about the flowers and the cake, she stepped up and made the engagement time a wonderfully stressless time for me, and I love her for it!
Kneel, stand, walk, repeat.
Laura,
I love that quote and I think it's perfect for any stage in your life. As for the wedding headaches hand off as much to your mom as possible and don't sweat the small stuff. I was really worried about having the perfect food at the reception and as it turned out Jeff and I didn't even get to eat, we were so busy visiting with people. Enjoy this time and remember it's not the wedding thats important it's the marriage.
love andrea
Here are my virtual two cents for free! I think what got me through my last month where I felt like there was too much to do was (and it's a big shock I know) I asked people for help! I know there are some things that you have to do yourself, but if you really think about it, there are probably some things you could let a trusted friend do for you. And I know that your friends are dying to help any which way they can. So let them help if they can, and then don't sweat the small stuff. Your wedding will be the best day of your life because you'll be so calm and tranquil and happy in the temple! I'm so happy for you!
I don't know that I have any wisdom as the quote you posted is something I totally struggle with :) However, since you are virtually days before the wedding, let me just say that now is the time to relax and ask other people to finish the work :) Remember that the Lord has a plan and if you keep yourself calm and in tune, the right stuff will happen, even if it seems weird at the time! Have a beautiful wedding and day!
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