ya monkey

This is what Jason calls me when he thinks I'm being ridiculous. He'll just shake his head and say, "Ya monkey!" I laugh a little because he can use it when he's either entertained by my craziness or else annoyed by my...craziness (read: bad mood). In either case, it comes off as funny and he comes off as chill instead of cruel. Thing #572 that I love about Jason.

But check this out... Now. Which one of us deserves the title of monkey? Is it me? I submit that it is not.

PEARD

So I have had a lot on my mind lately. (Oh, and promised pics will come soon; sorry for the barrage of texty posts. I know, I'm boring. But they're comin.) A lot of my mind. I found out Friday afternoon that I did not get in. That information catalyzed a series of interesting emotions in me, including rejection, disappointment, and confusion. Yet right on the heels of those more heavy emotions came the lift; peace and calmness were surprisingly the most lasting of all the emotions I felt that day. A beloved friend had taught me just days before that peace and excitement accompany righteous decisions (PEARD!), so I had this on my mind already. When I found that my supposed disappointment actually brought me peace and a strange excitement for the future, I was surprised, but knew that peace comes from only one Source, so I am going to trust it. Hmm. I am wondering now what the future will bring, but whatever it is, it's bound to be an adventure! I feel that this new turn of events is the Lord's way of guiding my life in a place He wants it to go. I've already committed it to Him; now my task is to trust His path and not wander around in the misty darkness anymore. Forward!

The weekend was full of fun and good times, too. Pics will come from that as well! Let me just say that temple sealings are the best BEST thing in the world, receptions with dancing are fantastic, and sunny days can lift your spirits like nothin else.

Ok. Photos a-comin.

tgif

Today Jason and I woke up early to go watch the sun rise over the harbor from "our spot" on the wharf. It was soooo romantical. What a lovely morning. I'll post pictures latah. We decided to start the day together now instead of ending it... this will be fun.

In other news, today is the day. I find out somewhere around 8pm if I was accepted. If you want to know, call me or email me after that time and I will give you the deets. Be prepared for emotional instability on my part, regardless of the outcome. :)

a/c

I turned on the a/c in my car this morning for the first time all year as I drove to work. (Nevermind that I was driving to work at 11am... wicked cramps kept me bedridden all morning. Boo.)

Today I am grateful for sunshine and warm!!!

jacób and el rey benjamín

I have been obsessed lately with a phrase that dawned upon me one day while discussing relationships with Jason: "You need to FEEL the void before you want to FILL it." I had a further conversation with a friend about this subject last night. Here are my thoughts as of this morning.

Elder Eyring talks about King Benjamin in these words:

"He started in his discourse where we must all begin to help people escape spiritual disaster. People have to believe that the danger is real to want to find safety. They have to fear the consequence of ignoring the peril. He made clear the hazards we face because we are free to choose between right and wrong and because we cannot avoid the consequence of those choices. He spoke directly and sharply because he knew what sorrow would come to those who might not hear and heed his warnings." ( http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-602-4,00.html )

That is what I meant by FEELING the void before you feel the need to FILL it. There must be a recognized and felt need for Christ's grace before one desires to call upon it. Amazingly, the Spirit reminds us of our need for the Atonement in an enabling way: He helps us feel the hope of possible change at the same moment He reminds us of our inadequacy. Satan puts his own ridiculous twist upon that feeling by reminding us constantly of our inadequacy, but also robbing our lives of hope. The devil makes us feel that change is impossible, and we're stuck in a rut forever with no way out.

Prophets of God follow the pattern of the Spirit, of course: they help us recognize our "awful reality" and "awful guilt" (2 Nephi 9:46-47, the promised Jacob reference) but also point out that Christ provides a very accessible and clear way out, and though the path is narrow and strait, it leads to lasting happiness. It is interesting to read 2 Nephi 9 and listen to the way Jacob contrasts the awful consequences of sin, but then notice how hopefully he points to Christ, and the rad way he does it and rejoices in the Atonement. ( http://scriptures.lds.org/en/2_ne/9/ ) Instruments of the devil, and our own thoughts when influenced by him, focus only on the sin and not the salvation; they repeat our rebellion instead of rejoicing in the hope of redemption.

I so want to rejoice. Get thee hence, sad imitation of the plan.